Growing up, I wanted to be a mom. I often imagined myself with daughters. That might have been because I grew up in a house with mostly women – my dad was the odd one out.
I even thought my first child was a girl throughout my pregnancy. It wasn’t common yet to find out the gender before the child was born, and I’m not sure I would have done so even if I could have.
Instead, the Universe blessed me with three amazing sons, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
My sons tell me that last time I worked closely with Demeter for Spring Mysteries Festival, I was a little intense. One of them said I was “terrifying – mothering to a fault”.
I remember going to rehearsals and expressing all my grief and rage, and it was very cathartic. I didn’t think I was that intense at home. I thought I was doing a good job of keeping personal and spiritual life separate. My boys think differently.
This time around, I haven’t quite felt the same intensity of emotional expression. To be fair, there are several reasons for that. We are still early in the rehearsal process. We are rehearsing online, and not in person. I’m not having to travel many hours each way, on my own, to get to rehearsals. I’m not dealing with bullying and harassment in my place of work. My children are older, as am I.
The biggest reason, though, is that in December my son’s fiancée came to live with us.
It has been so wonderful having another woman around! I’ve taught her cross stitch (okay, she mostly learned it herself, I just helped here and there because she’s smart like that – also, I did try to teach my sons, and only one of them was slightly interested). She helps around the house, and enjoys many of the things we do. She fits right in with our family as if she has been there for years.
More importantly, we are planning the wedding together. Two weeks ago, we bought the fabric for her dress, and last weekend we cut it out. We get to discuss details and share thoughts, decide on color schemes and decorations, and connect throughout it all.
Growing up, I never would have thought that I would end up living in a home with extended family, and yet now it seems the most natural thing in the world. I don’t know what I did to have such a close relationship with my children that they want to stay close to home (okay, the economy might have something to do with that), however, I am so very grateful for it.
Demeter is certainly happy to have a daughter in the house, too. Maybe part of the reason she was so unhappy was that she didn’t get to help plan the wedding…
Blessings,
Mary