This week I hit a speed bump. A friend challenged me, and it brought up a lot of fears and negative self-talk for me. The challenge was not even a bad thing; she challenged me to put my Elements of Abundance course out for everyone, whether I feel ready or not. By having a deadline with people depending on me, I will show up and make it happen.
It’s a proven concept – part of the reason I started a women’s spiritual circle oh-so-many years ago was that I would do the work for myself. To be able to lead others, I needed to learn and grow myself.
This summer, when I was off work, I was very excited to create a group coaching program. The idea was I would be able to launch it around the time I went back to work. But I got stuck with the process I was working on creating, and then I got sidetracked with the 30/60 blog and video challenge, and before I knew it I was back at work, with nothing more than a title and an idea for my course.
I don’t regret doing the challenge. It helped me get into creating videos, and definitely increased my website hits. I see that as a very good thing.
There’s still a part of me that is disappointed that I didn’t achieve what I set out to this summer, and now that it is almost mid-winter, I’m starting to wonder if I will. Between work, helping my son with his schoolwork, coaching, and circle, there’s precious little time left in the day. Not to mention any energy necessary to actually create.
I started checking out this week. I borrowed movies from the library and stayed up late watching them. I slept in each morning instead of meditating trying to make up the sleep I lost staying up late the night before. I didn’t even look at my journal, much less write in it, and I didn’t check my email most of the week.
I was sliding down the slippery slope to hopelessness. Maybe I’m not meant to create this course. Who am I to teach about abundance to others when I am so immersed in my own lack? Maybe it would be better if I resigned myself to going to work, coming home and distracting myself however I can, and doing it all over the next day.
How do you pull yourself out of that? Well, here are a few things I did:
- Cry. Yes, I really mean cry. Your tears help release the excess stress chemicals from your body, so let ’em flow!
- Journal. Get the thoughts down on paper and out of your head. I wrote in my journal while watching an X-Men movie with my boys.
- Get a good night’s sleep. Your body repairs and heals during sleep, and that means lowering stress levels as well.
- Take some time for self-care. I took a bath, used some body lotion I enjoy the smell of, and painted my toenails. Treat yourself to a personal spa day, in whatever way you can.
- Get a different perspective. Sometimes, I just need to talk it out. I spent an hour or so letting my husband know what I was feeling, and he gave me a different view on some of the challenges we are facing.
- Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Don’t stay there forever, but don’t try to squash the feelings either.
- Do something for someone else. For me, this was helping my son sew some lavender eye pillows for his Young Entrepreneur project. I felt needed and valuable helping him do something he couldn’t quite do on his own. Its a small ego boost, and from down here, every little bit helps.
I’m still feeling a little down, but I’m nowhere near as broken as I felt less than 24 hours ago. I’m still scared of giving myself a deadline, but it’s not as terrifying as it was earlier in the week. I keep reminding myself of this:
There are no unrealistic goals – only unrealistic timelines.
I’m not giving up, just resetting the clock.
Blessings,
Mary