Aloha!

I’m off again on another Peaceful Woman adventure!  This time I have the absolutely extreme pleasure of helping with two Passages back to back!  I am so excited!

But it also means I’m not going to be posting for a couple of weeks.  I did make an effort to write ahead, and have everything ready for my absence, so you wouldn’t even notice I was gone, but the writing muse just wasn’t with me.   (It couldn’t have been the excitement about going, or the preparations or anything like that…)

So, until I am back,

May you know Peace,
May you know Joy,
May you know Love,
May you know Infinite Blessings!

Mary

How do I show up in the world?

I am vicariously taking part in an 8 week coaching program with The Peaceful Woman called Inspired Living.  I say vicariously  because I am not able to take part during the live call, but I can go back and listen to the recording.  Last week was the first session, and I just listened to the call today.

We did an assessment of our lives–looking at various areas and how fulfilled we are by those parts of our lives, and how different areas of our lives support us.  This was an interesting exercise for me.  Some of these areas I knew were not fulfilling me, and I’m working to change that.  Some areas that on first thought I would have said were great, after listening to the discussion I decided I really could be more fulfilled in that area of my life.   Areas that I would have said are not supporting me, really do support me more than I think.

After looking at the balance, or really, lack of balance, in my life, I have to ask myself some powerful questions: How am I showing up in the world?  How do I want to show up in the world?  How different are the answers? And what do I need to do to bring them into alignment?

I feel that I am showing up as Super Mom, an overachiever who has so many things to do, one wonders how any of it gets done.  And I do feel like I have too many projects on the go, but I am not sure how to pare it back.   Each project feels essential to one or another of my goals.  And yet, if I don’t slow down, I may crash.  I notice I go through this cycle from time to time, usually when I have fallen behind on my daily meditation, journal writing, and/or exercise, all of which has happened lately.

The answers to the other questions are going to take a little more time, meditation and reflection to answer.  As requested by my coach, I have chosen a theme for the rest of 2010: My life supports my purpose and my purpose supports my life.  I’m still working to bring all the areas of my life into alignment with my purpose.  I’ll keep you posted as I work out the answers to these questions!

If you know me, how do I show up for you?  Or, how do YOU show up in the world, and how does that compare to how you want to show up?

Blessings,

Mary

Today’s the Day

Today’s the day…
Miracles are happening in my life.

Today’s the day…
I leave the past behind me.

Today’s the day…
My life is changing
For the better!

Today’s the day…
My dreams are becoming reality.

Today’s the day…
The work I have been doing
Bears fruit.

Today’s the day…
I am aligned with my purpose
And success comes easily.

Today’s the day…
The goals I have been working toward
Are realized, and new goals
Spring up before me.

Today’s the day…
The pieces of the puzzle
The Universe has been moving for me
Fall into place.

I don’t know what.
I don’t know where.
I don’t know who or how.

All I know is
Today’s the day!
I feel truly blessed
And I am so grateful.

Blessings,
Mary

Take a Moment…

While doing some research for my guided meditations recently, I came across a site that I am quite looking forward to making a regular visit to:

The Life Balance Institute‘s “Take a Moment” page.

Each week on Monday they release a brief video moment, an opportunity to reflect, think and be inspired.  I can’t wait to see what nect week’s moment is!

Take a Moment, and treat yourself!

Blessings,

Mary

Take some time, and get your life in balance…

The Pain of Discipline vs. the Pain of Regret

I have several practices that I do on a regular basis: yoga, journal writing, and meditation. Over the holidays, and the time leading up to the holidays, my discipline at maintaining these practices has been slipping. As someone with a history of procrastination, I have had any number of reasons (read: excuses) as to why I cannot do any or all of them. Since I practice first thing in the morning, and right before bed, many of my excuses revolve around sleep.

“I stayed up too late last night, so I ‘m going to sleep a little later this morning.”

“I feel a cold coming on, so I am going to rest more to fight it off.”

“I have to finish reading this book so I can get it back to the library.”

Thinking of these three practices (yoga, meditation and journal writing), it can be difficult to measure the effects of doing or not doing them.  If I don’t brush my teeth before bed, it’s easy to relate that to furry teeth and horrible morning breath when I wake up.  If I don’t put my raw breakfast on to soak before I go to bed, I have to have something else to eat in the morning. But is the late afternoon headache coming on because I didn’t do yoga, or because I didn’t drink enough water today?  And am I irritable because I didn’t write in my journal or meditate last night, or because my hormones are changing with the onset of my moon time?

And then there is the guilt.  I made a commitment to myself to practice yoga at least three times a week, and to journal and meditate before bed at least 5 times a week.  If I can’t keep my commitments to myself, how trustworthy am I?  And if I am not keeping my commitments, I am not in alignment, and I am not attracting the things I want into my life.

Why did I make these commitments in the first place?  Yoga helps keep me flexible and is a good way of combating chronic plain.  Writing in my journal and meditating help me stay balanced emotionally, and help me feel calm and peaceful.  I am able to stay focused longer and accomplish more.  And frankly, I don’t like what I become when I am not practicing.

So while it may always seem easier to follow an excuse and not get up for yoga, or short myself on meditation time so I can get back into whatever book I am reading, I almost always end up regretting the decision.  Discipline is much more challenging to maintain, but it is so much easier to live with than the regret of not following the discipline.

Keep this in mind as you make your New Year’s Resolutions, if you partake in that ritual.  Will you be self-disciplined enough to keep your commitment?

Blessings,

Mary

PS. How do I best impart this lesson, which has taken me over 30 years to understand (and I still haven’t gotten it perfect!), to my young sons? :)

Winter Solstice

Last night we had our annual Solstice Celebration, “Banish the Dark.”  It was a much smaller group than we have sometimes had, and yet we had an excellent meal cooked by my wonderful husband, and some good discussion.

After dinner, we turned off all the lights, and the fire in the fireplace had burned down to small coals.  One of the first fears that we experience as young children is fear of the dark, as my youngest immediately began complaining about.  David asked the question, “What is dark?”

My first response was, “Absence of light.”  My eldest son answered, “The opposite of light.”  Our guest suggested that a lot of sacred ceremony takes place in total darkness.

And then my lightbulb flashed.  The dark obscures outer vision so we may better see with inner vision.  We each took some time quietly meditating on that inner vision…well, the adults, anyway!

Then my husband lit a single candle from the almost extinguished coals of the fire.  How bright that light seemed after being in the darkness for a while! Slowly, we lit more and more candles, and the room became bright once more.  The higher we lifted our lights, the brighter the room became.

Winter Solstice Candles

I also took time to recall another Winter Solstice four years ago.  I had done many things to encourage my youngest to be born, but was waiting until the time he chose.  I went out for a walk on my own in the dying hours of the day.  I walked the path through the woods behind my home, across the two streams, down to the ocean, across the rocky beach to come to the entrance to my neighborhood, and back up to home.  I was out for at least an hour, in the rain and fading light.  The whole time I was out, I spoke to the baby inside me, encouraging him to come snuggle in my arms.  Just before two the next morning, my third son was born, echoing the rebirth of the Sun.

In my darkest hour, I went within, and new light sparked forth.

May you have the courage to face the darkness, your shadow, and through the challenge lift your light high for others to see.  All good things are coming to me, and to you.

Blessings

Mary

The Crown of Procrastination

How many ways can I procrastinate? Oh, there are many!  Just today, for example, I did laundry, and read email.  Then I had a whole bunch of errands to run with my husband, since this is a day off for me and two of the boys were in school.  One of the errands happened to be upgrading our old cell phones to iPhones, so then I played with that for a while, and entered all of my contacts from my other phone.  There’s still a lot I want to learn about my new toy…but that’s another day’s procrastination!

After adding all the contacts, I then made dinner, and started watching a movie with the boys.  Now, it’s bedtime, and see how one of the tasks I had set as a priority for myself is still not done.

When I was in University, I often joked about being the Queen of Procrastination and wearing the crown.  I regularly left assignments to the last minute, writing papers the night before they were due, studying in the last hour before a big test, etc.  Even now I leave planning for my spiritual circle until the night before, or even the day of.  It’s not that I haven’t thought about what I am going to do.  I just don’t get it out of my head and onto paper.  This inevitably causes me extra anxiety and stress that I don’t need.

So why do I do it to myself? I know right now that I have another circle to plan, and it is less than two weeks away.  I also know that I will need to write another blog post for next Monday.  So why don’t I get started right now…after I finish this post, instead of putting it off until the eleventh hour?

In yet another diversionary tactic, I did a little research. One possible reason is impulsiveness and lack of self-control.  Go for the instant gratification today instead of putting work before play.  Hmm…yes, at times that does fit me.  Like getting the iphone today instead of waiting until next week, or eating the last piece of chocolate instead of saving it for tomorrow.

Another reason some people procrastinate is that they are perfectionists, and they fear not achieving perfection.  Guilty as charged.  I come by my perfectionism honestly.  My mother is also a perfectionist.  I don’t consciously feel fear about not being perfect.  In fact, there is a part of me that believes I already am perfect.  That part gets drowned out sometimes by the nag that says I’m not, so I can see how this would affect me into procrastinating.

Not feeling passionate about what you are doing can also influence procrastination, since we tend to avoid doing things we dislike.  That would totally explain why I leave the dishes until there are no clean ones left in the cupboard. (Thankfully, my husband has taken over that chore, and I am EXTREMELY grateful!)

All this is fine and dandy, but what can I do to reduce how often I wear the crown?  First, I need to focus on the dream I am bringing to reality.  Whenever I am not feeling motivated, remembering that I am working to bring my financial house into alignment with my purpose helps get me going again.

Second, I can break the big things down into smaller chunks.  Sometimes I don’t start a task, because I don’t feel I have time to finish the whole thing.  But if I break it down into bite size pieces, I can complete it little bits at a time, in those windows I have the rest of the week.

Third, I can schedule those windows of time for myself.  Ahh, now here’s a challenge.  Remember that instant gratification part?  Time management is definitely and area I could improve in.  Writing a to do list for each day and prioritizing the tasks may help me there.  I could change my mindset and turn it into a fun thing: how can I use my new iphone to help me schedule my time better?  I think I will go start entering tasks into my iphone calendar now…

Faith Manages

I had a conversation recently on facebook with a friend of mine about faith and trust.  I was planning to copy that conversation and edit it for today’s blog post.  Facebook is not letting me see that message thread right now, so instead I have to have faith and trust that I can rebuild my thoughts on the subject!  How’s that for irony?

My friend was questioning a decision she had made.  She saw it as a test of her personal values, and was questioning the Source that would challenge her in this way at this time in her life, and given other recent events.

The first thing that came to mind was a line from a Babylon 5 episode: Confessions and Lamentations.  In the episode, an entire species (the Markab) was being wiped out by a plague, and the remaining Markabs were quarantined in a part of the space station.  None of the doctors knew if the plague would affect other species, and so they were left to themselves to die.  An ambassador of the Minbari, Delenn and her assistant, Lenier, who are of the religious caste of their race, go in to the quarantined area to give what comfort they can to the last Markabs, not knowing if they will succumb to the illness or not.

They come upon a little girl who is crying:

Delenn: She has separated from her mother. Please find her.
Lennier: [looks around, somewhat lost] How?
Delenn: [to Lennier] Faith manages.
Delenn: [turning to Markab girl] What is her name?
Markab Girl: Mama.
[Delenn turns and looks at Lennier again]
Lennier: Faith… manages.

This quote rings through my head whenever I am facing a seemingly insurmountable challenge, and I have no idea where the solution will come from.  As long as I believe that everything will work out, it usually does.  They did find the girl’s mama, by the way, and Delenn and Lenier survived, though the Markab race was completely wiped out.

Going back to my friend, I reminded her of some of my beliefs.  They may or may not be your beliefs, and that’s ok.

I am a soul having a human experience. I *chose* to come here, and I *chose* many (all?) of the challenges I have faced in this life before I came. Why? So I could experience things my soul may not have experienced before, or perhaps so I could choose to respond differently this time.

The Earth is a big playground, where all these amazing, all-powerful, creative beings have come to experience EVERYTHING! However, on the journey here, we forget that we are amazing, all-powerful creators. So we struggle. But the playground is essentially harmless. It is beneficent even. What is my ultimate goal here? Experience everything with joy and gratitude. So even when, ESPECIALLY when, something “bad” happens to me, something painful, something WAY better is just around the corner.

But do I BELIEVE that? Do I TRUST that the playground is harmless, that it is here to fulfill my every wish? Or will I let myself get bogged down in the pain? Do I celebrate when I pass a test of my resolution? Or do I rail against the Universe for testing me in the first place? As the creator of my Universe, I would only be railing against myself.

Do you see the joke? Once you see it, and can laugh at it, challenges become easier to face.

So I choose to CELEBRATE! In my friend’s case, she could see the pattern of where her previous choices have not brought her joy, and now she has chosen differently! While it may seem painful at the moment, something WAY better is now available to her because she learned and exercised her power of choice. Woo hoo!

Wishing you the vision to see  and the sense of humor to laugh,

Mary

PS. Facebook came through at the end and let me see the thread.  You know, once I had mostly finished writing.