This time last week I was a completely different person. I mean, I guess on some level we can all say that. In this case, I almost didn’t recognize myself.
I was sleep deprived. I knew sleep deprivation could be used as torture, and now I know in my bones why. Insomnia is awful at the best of times. And when you’re a new mom, I think your body does some magic to help you cope with baby waking up at all hours, though that deprivation is real. (I don’t have a new baby right now, but I do have a puppy, and that is almost as bad for sleep.)
I’ve read lots of things that talk about how sleep is important for healing the body, and for our mental capacity, and blah, blah, blah. I set alarms for myself to remind me to shut down and get ready for sleep, and then ignore them. I know my alarm goes off early in the morning, and I rarely get back to sleep after it goes off, and I still stay up late.
That regular small amount of sleep debt has nothing on prolonged insomnia. I went about two weeks with less than 4 hours of rest per night. Not for lack of trying! I laid in bed and tossed and turned.
Pain definitely didn’t help. If you haven’t been reading my posts for long, I deal with chronic pain. I have professional help managing that. I was using muscle rubs, massage tools, and pain medication to help, and pain still kept me from sleep – the thing you really need to help heal the pain.
My brain was foggy. I was making mistakes and forgetting things. I couldn’t focus much beyond playing games on my phone or watching Netflix. Part of me wanted to read, and I couldn’t keep track of what I was reading. I would start listening to a podcast, and have to rewind to follow what was being discussed.
My emotions were out of whack, too. I was crying at the drop of a hat, or getting angry over little things. I even cried after the pharmacist told me my prescription wasn’t quite ready to be picked up yet.
Thank the Goddess for my naturopath! She recommended adding 5HTP to the GABA I was taking (amino acids that help your brain produce serotonin, calming anxiety and depression – please get advice before taking any supplements). She also gave me a prescription to help with a hormone imbalance that was contributing to the insomnia.
It’s been a week. Last night I slept for about six hours for the first time in weeks. I woke up and got dressed right away, and took the puppy for a walk. Prior to today, that was just a good idea in my head that I couldn’t motivate myself to actually do (thank you, working from home). I’ve done some sewing and cross stitch, and I even read a few pages before bed last night.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still tired. It’s going to take me some time to pay off this sleep debt. However, I think I’m off to a good start. Here’s to good sleep!
Blessings,
Mary