I think I have a bit of a crush on Brené Brown. I’ve started reading and/or listening to her books, and her work is really resonating strongly with me. So you’ve been warned, she may come up in my writing for the next while…
The events of the past week in the United States have been… I don’t even know the right words. My heart is aching at all the pain. I’m more convinced than ever that we are going through an evolutionary change.
Change is almost always uncomfortable, and some are more prepared than others. Many people resist change, struggle against it and become afraid and angry and lash out.
And it is easy to watch from a distance and wonder, “how can they think that, or do that, or act that way? Don’t they know any better???”
And the simple answer is no, they don’t. If they knew better, they would do better. Brené Brown challenges us to accept that everyone is doing the best they can.
On first glance, that seems like a no-brainer to me. Of course everyone is doing the best they can! Oh, but am I really that evolved? How many times have I criticized my children, or my partner, or… well, anyone… because they “ought to know better”? The truth is a little less comfortable, a little less pretty. There have been LOTS of times I have sat in judgement of others. 🙁
Because if I really believe that everyone is doing the best they can, that means not only was George Floyd doing the best he could, the police officers that killed him were also doing the best they could. Not only are the peaceful protesters doing the best they can, the people who are vandalizing and looting are also doing the best they can.
And I’ll be honest, I’m struggling with that.
I want it to fit nicely into “these people are right, and those people are wrong”. I want to feel better/smarter/more enlightened than the people choosing to do the things that don’t align with my values. That’s a lot easier to take.
So I am sitting with the discomfort, and working towards compassion. I don’t have answers about how to make the shift easier. I do know that directing our own anger, fear, or hatred to those who are acting from anger, fear, or hatred will not make things any better.
Here’s hoping we make it through this evolution to a better world.
Blessings,
Mary