The holidays are hard. There’s so much pressure we could all turn into diamonds! Pressure to buy or make gifts, to bake and cook, to spend time with people we may or may not enjoy, pressure to donate to various charities, to be cheerful and smile…
There’s even pressure to practice self care at this time of year. Last week I wrote about putting yourself first, and I started thinking about what that looks like. What fills my cup is naturally going to be different than what fills your cup.
Common advice says to take a bubble bath, or buy yourself flowers, or take yourself on a date. And by all means, if those things fill you up, do them! However, if those things leave you feeling more stressed, then find something else.
Here are a few things I do to help fill my cup:
- Read a book. Preferably one that is just for fun. For me, this is usually fiction, either fantasy or historical fiction.
- Make art. Right now, this is cross stitch for me, though it has been sewing or drawing or painting in the past. Coloring books work great for a lot of people.
- Do nothing. Seriously, give yourself permission to be lazy. Stay in bed, or eat junk food on the couch, or watch movies, or take a nap. It’s all about NOT being productive.
- Make your favorite comfort food. Nourish your body with things that taste good, even if they’re not necessarily healthy. (Keep moderation in mind…)
- Call or message a friend. Sometimes I need an ear to vent about what’s going on in my world so the playback loop can stop. Once I’ve talked it out, I can often be less emotional about it.
- Write in a journal. This is good for the same reasons as above, except that you can say whatever you really want without having to filter or explain or receive unwanted advice. Unless your spirit guides are loud…
- Play a game. I don’t do this so much anymore, because I will lose hours to “just one more round” and it’s not so healthy for me. I still enjoy losing myself in a game of solitaire or sudoku or mahjong now and then.
- Go to a spiritual service. For me, this is Wiccan ritual. For you, it could be church services, or Buddhist meditation, or yoga, or Red Tent, or even just the forest or the beach. Wherever you feel connected with deity or the Universe.
- Spend time with friends. Sometimes we need to be around other people to recharge. Physical touch – hugs, cuddling, and yes, even sex – are necessary to us as human beings.
- Be a hermit. Sometimes we need to be by ourselves to recharge.
- Set boundaries to protect your mental and physical health. Don’t spend time with people who harm you.
- Volunteer. Making a contribution to your favorite cause or charity can give you a sense of fulfillment.
I hope this list gives you some ideas. The big point is, you know best what makes you feel good, and helps you relax and de-stress. No matter how silly, or how foolish your brain tries to tell you it is, no matter how much your brain tries to talk you out of it because you “have more important things to do”, your brain is lying to you.
Your brain’s job is to protect you, and to keep you safe. Except that your brain’s idea of safety is clouded by your experiences in this life. Listen to your soul’s wisdom. How you ask? By doing the biggest thing I left off that list above:
MEDITATE.
Meditation helps you calm the chatty monkey, danger-will-robinson-robot that is your brain, your mind. It helps you connect to your soul, your higher self, the still, small voice that guides you.
Meditation is the one thing I do every day that makes the biggest difference in my life. It keeps me going without getting completely worn out.
What fills your cup?
Blessings,
Mary