The Crown of Procrastination

By Mary on December 7, 2009

How many ways can I procrastinate? Oh, there are many!  Just today, for example, I did laundry, and read email.  Then I had a whole bunch of errands to run with my husband, since this is a day off for me and two of the boys were in school.  One of the errands happened to be upgrading our old cell phones to iPhones, so then I played with that for a while, and entered all of my contacts from my other phone.  There’s still a lot I want to learn about my new toy…but that’s another day’s procrastination!

After adding all the contacts, I then made dinner, and started watching a movie with the boys.  Now, it’s bedtime, and see how one of the tasks I had set as a priority for myself is still not done.

When I was in University, I often joked about being the Queen of Procrastination and wearing the crown.  I regularly left assignments to the last minute, writing papers the night before they were due, studying in the last hour before a big test, etc.  Even now I leave planning for my spiritual circle until the night before, or even the day of.  It’s not that I haven’t thought about what I am going to do.  I just don’t get it out of my head and onto paper.  This inevitably causes me extra anxiety and stress that I don’t need.

So why do I do it to myself? I know right now that I have another circle to plan, and it is less than two weeks away.  I also know that I will need to write another blog post for next Monday.  So why don’t I get started right now…after I finish this post, instead of putting it off until the eleventh hour?

In yet another diversionary tactic, I did a little research. One possible reason is impulsiveness and lack of self-control.  Go for the instant gratification today instead of putting work before play.  Hmm…yes, at times that does fit me.  Like getting the iphone today instead of waiting until next week, or eating the last piece of chocolate instead of saving it for tomorrow.

Another reason some people procrastinate is that they are perfectionists, and they fear not achieving perfection.  Guilty as charged.  I come by my perfectionism honestly.  My mother is also a perfectionist.  I don’t consciously feel fear about not being perfect.  In fact, there is a part of me that believes I already am perfect.  That part gets drowned out sometimes by the nag that says I’m not, so I can see how this would affect me into procrastinating.

Not feeling passionate about what you are doing can also influence procrastination, since we tend to avoid doing things we dislike.  That would totally explain why I leave the dishes until there are no clean ones left in the cupboard. (Thankfully, my husband has taken over that chore, and I am EXTREMELY grateful!)

All this is fine and dandy, but what can I do to reduce how often I wear the crown?  First, I need to focus on the dream I am bringing to reality.  Whenever I am not feeling motivated, remembering that I am working to bring my financial house into alignment with my purpose helps get me going again.

Second, I can break the big things down into smaller chunks.  Sometimes I don’t start a task, because I don’t feel I have time to finish the whole thing.  But if I break it down into bite size pieces, I can complete it little bits at a time, in those windows I have the rest of the week.

Third, I can schedule those windows of time for myself.  Ahh, now here’s a challenge.  Remember that instant gratification part?  Time management is definitely and area I could improve in.  Writing a to do list for each day and prioritizing the tasks may help me there.  I could change my mindset and turn it into a fun thing: how can I use my new iphone to help me schedule my time better?  I think I will go start entering tasks into my iphone calendar now…

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Faith Manages

By Mary on December 1, 2009

I had a conversation recently on facebook with a friend of mine about faith and trust.  I was planning to copy that conversation and edit it for today’s blog post.  Facebook is not letting me see that message thread right now, so instead I have to have faith and trust that I can rebuild my thoughts on the subject!  How’s that for irony?

My friend was questioning a decision she had made.  She saw it as a test of her personal values, and was questioning the Source that would challenge her in this way at this time in her life, and given other recent events.

The first thing that came to mind was a line from a Babylon 5 episode: Confessions and Lamentations.  In the episode, an entire species (the Markab) was being wiped out by a plague, and the remaining Markabs were quarantined in a part of the space station.  None of the doctors knew if the plague would affect other species, and so they were left to themselves to die.  An ambassador of the Minbari, Delenn and her assistant, Lenier, who are of the religious caste of their race, go in to the quarantined area to give what comfort they can to the last Markabs, not knowing if they will succumb to the illness or not.

They come upon a little girl who is crying:

Delenn: She has separated from her mother. Please find her.
Lennier: [looks around, somewhat lost] How?
Delenn: [to Lennier] Faith manages.
Delenn: [turning to Markab girl] What is her name?
Markab Girl: Mama.
[Delenn turns and looks at Lennier again]
Lennier: Faith… manages.

This quote rings through my head whenever I am facing a seemingly insurmountable challenge, and I have no idea where the solution will come from.  As long as I believe that everything will work out, it usually does.  They did find the girl’s mama, by the way, and Delenn and Lenier survived, though the Markab race was completely wiped out.

Going back to my friend, I reminded her of some of my beliefs.  They may or may not be your beliefs, and that’s ok.

I am a soul having a human experience. I *chose* to come here, and I *chose* many (all?) of the challenges I have faced in this life before I came. Why? So I could experience things my soul may not have experienced before, or perhaps so I could choose to respond differently this time.

The Earth is a big playground, where all these amazing, all-powerful, creative beings have come to experience EVERYTHING! However, on the journey here, we forget that we are amazing, all-powerful creators. So we struggle. But the playground is essentially harmless. It is beneficent even. What is my ultimate goal here? Experience everything with joy and gratitude. So even when, ESPECIALLY when, something “bad” happens to me, something painful, something WAY better is just around the corner.

But do I BELIEVE that? Do I TRUST that the playground is harmless, that it is here to fulfill my every wish? Or will I let myself get bogged down in the pain? Do I celebrate when I pass a test of my resolution? Or do I rail against the Universe for testing me in the first place? As the creator of my Universe, I would only be railing against myself.

Do you see the joke? Once you see it, and can laugh at it, challenges become easier to face.

So I choose to CELEBRATE! In my friend’s case, she could see the pattern of where her previous choices have not brought her joy, and now she has chosen differently! While it may seem painful at the moment, something WAY better is now available to her because she learned and exercised her power of choice. Woo hoo!

Wishing you the vision to see  and the sense of humor to laugh,

Mary

PS. Facebook came through at the end and let me see the thread.  You know, once I had mostly finished writing.

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Getting Into Alignment

By Mary on November 25, 2009

I had an aha! moment the other night as I was writing in my journal.  I’m feeling the need to go to another personal development conference or workshop.

I’ve been to several really amazing ones in the past year, and I always come home feeling on top of the world and soaring with energy.  The last one I went to was The Peaceful Woman in August.  While I am blessed to participate in weekly phone calls with a group of Peaceful Women, and even more blessed to have an in-depth check in with one woman in particular, it’s not quite the same as being in the same space with others of like mind.

Why is that?

The conclusion I came to is that regularly going to conferences or workshops and being in a group of self-aware or high vibration people is like going to the chiropractor.  My body gets so used to being out of alignment, that it becomes the norm.  If I don’t have an adjustment for a while, then I need to go several times to get my body used to being in alignment.  With regular maintenance, being in alignment becomes the norm.

The same can be said for my energy body.  A year ago I went to three weekend intensives in three months.  I was pumped, excited, and it set a really good precedence for the year.  Then, I couldn’t keep up with the expense and the time away from work, so I didn’t go for a while, and my energy lagged.  This summer, I went to a few more, but now it has been three months and I am feeling the need for re-alignment.

The phone calls are kind of like the chiropractor just adjusting my lower back, or just my neck, but not my whole spine.  It helps, but it’s not as good as the full meal deal.  I’m working to manifest a couple of trips in the next couple of months to help get me back into full spiritual alignment, alignment with my soul’s purpose.  In the mean time, I’m continuing my meditation and journal writing practices for my mind and spirit, like my yoga practice for my body.

Because I now appreciate the value of regular adjustments, physically, mentally and spiritually.

Blessings,

Mary

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