I Surrender (Again…)

Last week I wrote about a message I received from my guides, about getting serious with my daily practice – meditation, grounding, and connecting.

The other message I received from them was about surrendering, letting go of control. (This isn’t an issue for me, I don’t know what your talking about… just don’t go read about the last time I surrendered, or the post about letting it go, or…)

OK, fine. I’m a control freak. I like to know what’s going on. I like to be in control. I like to have a plan.

Trust in the Universe, trust in the Divine Plan, say my guides.

I can’t, I say. I have three children to take care of. I need to know that I will be able to house and feed them.

Trust.

I’m afraid.

RobinWoodTarot-FourofPentaclesAt Hekate’s Sickle, at one of the rituals, we had an opportunity to draw a tarot card. I was hoping for a positive card, something that would show things looking up, changes coming. I drew the Four of Pentacles, also known as the miser card. It’s not the happiest card, but the message was clear.

By holding on so tightly, by needing to be in control, I’m not allowing myself to enjoy life. And chances are good, I may end up losing it all.

It sums up exactly what I’m feeling. Security is important to me. However, being a control freak isn’t serving me.

The nice thing about tarot is that it is a snapshot of where you are. You have free will, so you can change your future.

I surrender, God/Goddess/Universe. You have a higher vantage point than I do. Please guide me in the direction of my highest good and the highest good of all.

Surrender is not something I can do once. It is a choice I have to continue making, each day and each moment. It’s not always an easy choice, and I’m working on choosing it more often.

Blessings,

Mary