I Surrender (Again…)

Last week I wrote about a message I received from my guides, about getting serious with my daily practice – meditation, grounding, and connecting.

The other message I received from them was about surrendering, letting go of control. (This isn’t an issue for me, I don’t know what your talking about… just don’t go read about the last time I surrendered, or the post about letting it go, or…)

OK, fine. I’m a control freak. I like to know what’s going on. I like to be in control. I like to have a plan.

Trust in the Universe, trust in the Divine Plan, say my guides.

I can’t, I say. I have three children to take care of. I need to know that I will be able to house and feed them.

Trust.

I’m afraid.

RobinWoodTarot-FourofPentaclesAt Hekate’s Sickle, at one of the rituals, we had an opportunity to draw a tarot card. I was hoping for a positive card, something that would show things looking up, changes coming. I drew the Four of Pentacles, also known as the miser card. It’s not the happiest card, but the message was clear.

By holding on so tightly, by needing to be in control, I’m not allowing myself to enjoy life. And chances are good, I may end up losing it all.

It sums up exactly what I’m feeling. Security is important to me. However, being a control freak isn’t serving me.

The nice thing about tarot is that it is a snapshot of where you are. You have free will, so you can change your future.

I surrender, God/Goddess/Universe. You have a higher vantage point than I do. Please guide me in the direction of my highest good and the highest good of all.

Surrender is not something I can do once. It is a choice I have to continue making, each day and each moment. It’s not always an easy choice, and I’m working on choosing it more often.

Blessings,

Mary

I Surrender!

I believe that when a message comes to me several times in the space of two days, the Universe is telling me to give my attention to that message.

Spiritual SurrenderLast week, that happened to me. My coach asked me if I had offered up my challenge. I read the chapter in Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing about surrendering personal will to Divine will. And I had a session of Akashic Record Clearing in which we talked about surrendering.

When I speak of surrender, I’m not talking about running up a white flag and calling it quits. I’m more meaning a spiritual surrender – saying, “OK, Universe. What I’m doing obviously isn’t working. I give up. You can handle it.”

For a control freak like me, that can be easier said than done. It’s one thing to say to the Universe, “You take over.” It’s another thing completely to really let go of control; to stop worrying and trying to manage all the details.

It’s that last bit I’m finding challenging.  All week I’ve been pondering how to truly let go. I’ve meditated, and asked for guidance. I listened to a guided meditation someone else wrote, and it didn’t quite do it for me.

I can’t tell you that I had a sudden moment of release. Gradually, little by little, the clenched fist in my heart has been letting go.  I’m not 100% there yet. It’s something I’m still working on.  And I’m also starting to trust that the Universe will take care of me. Things that would have sent me into a panic last week, are not such a big deal this week. And I’m finding myself saying, “I’ll worry about that if it happens,” a lot more frequently (rather than obsessively trying to plan for all the potential outcomes).

When I think I have to figure it all out, I limit the Universe. I am discovering that as I surrender control, I am more open to receive guidance, and I am acting on that guidance. And I leave myself open for better things to come to me.

Back Seat DriverAn interesting image just came to me. By being clear about what I want, it’s like I’ve gotten in a taxi and told the driver where I want to go. By trying to control how I get there, it’s like trying to drive from the back seat. I just end up fighting with the driver!

As I let go a little bit more each day, I feel that I am moving ever closer to a manifestation that is bigger and better than I imagined. The best part is, I don’t have to figure out how its going to happen!

Blessings,

Mary

PS. I did finally receive a guided meditation to help with surrender. I’ll post it up when I get it recorded.