Choices | Walks Within Guided Meditations

To Spelunk, or Not to Spelunk

By Mary on September 5, 2011

That’s such a cool word…spelunk. My spell checker doesn’t seem to like it. Still, just say it out loud a few times. Spelunk.

Today is Labor Day, a day when we celebrate all our hard work with an extra day off. For me, it’s just a regular day off, since I don’t work on Mondays.

And I have a decision to make. A friend of mine has invited my family and others to go spelunking as a group at Horne Lake Caves on Vancouver Island. It’s something I have wanted to do ever since we moved to the Island, more than 10 years ago.

On the other hand, my to-do list is about a mile long. With co-workers leaving at work, rehearsals for a play I am in about to start, and getting ready for my upcoming workshops and retreat, it doesn’t look like it will be getting shorter anytime soon.

Then again, this is the last weekend of the summer. Tomorrow, my boys go back to school. And I haven’t taken any vacation this year, beyond the odd day or two here or there. It would be nice to have a fun family day before the craziness of September begins.

I could probably get a lot done if I stayed home while my family went out for the day.

And I would really miss being there with them.

All work and no play makes Mary a dull girl. Given that I have a very busy September ahead of me, I think I’m going spelunking. All my work will still be waiting for me when I get back.

Blessings,

Mary

PS. Walks Within is going to Maui! Do you feel like something is missing in your day to day life? Like there is something more you would like to be? Come with me February 19-25, 2011, and reveal the REAL you. Register before November 30th and save an extra $400!

online event registration
by Regonline

Posted in Mary's Musings Tagged choices, Maui Passage, Peaceful Woman, spelunking, taking responsibility, work vs play Leave a Comment

Choosing Love or Choosing Fear?

By Mary on May 16, 2011

The other day on Facebook, this picture caught my eye:

Fear vs. Love

It was paired with the following quote (thank you, Erica Boersma):

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” ~ Les Brown

It was perfect timing for me, as I was contemplating the idea of stepping out of my comfort zone.

For some time now, I feel I have been in a bit of a holding pattern. There are many things I would like to do, and yet I need to be able to feed my children. So I continue working at my day job, tinkering away at several other projects on the side, and hoping that a miracle will happen, or deus ex machina will save me from my routine.

I understand that for my situation to change, *I* must change. And still, fear holds me back. I chose to bring these three amazing children into this world, and I chose the responsibility that goes along with it. So how can I make a choice that threatens their very survival?

In my coaching work, I encourage others to trust that the Universe will provide. And if I were my only responsibility, I would absolutely trust. Its not just me though. Others depend on me for food and shelter. So how do I reconcile that with my trust (or in this case, the lack of trust) in the Universe?

I am definitely feeling like the figure in the drawing, walking a tightrope between who I am now, and who I want to be. And at any moment, fear or love could tip the balance and send me plummeting down or racing forward. Or, the choice could leave me frozen in space, not willing to step forward or backward.

There are times when I think it would be easier if I were less aware. I could go to work and watch television and not know how much more was out there to experience. Yet, Oliver Wendell Holmes spoke true when he said,

The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size.

So I shall wait for the fear to pass, and turn my mind to thoughts of love and abundance, and pray that change comes easily and joyfully.

Have any of you ever faced a major decision in your life that affected others, including yourself? How did you deal with it? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Blessings,

Mary

Posted in Mary's Musings Tagged change, choices, comfort zone, fear, fear vs love, love, trust 6 Comments

The First Signs of Change

By Mary on May 9, 2011

Last week as I was walking through the path in the woods near my house, I stopped suddenly because there was a robin right in the middle of the path. It hopped a few feet ahead, then came back as I stood absolutely still. I watched as it pulled up some leaves, looking for food.

I took the opportunity to practice “fox walking”, which I learned in the Coyote Mentoring course I took several years ago from Wes Gietz, slowly and silently following the robin as it made its way down the path.

I opened up my field of vision (“owl eyes” from Coyote Mentoring), and saw many other birds flitting around me in the forest. I saw a hummingbird, more robins and sparrows enjoying the evening. After a little while, another robin came and sat in a tree just above the robin that had stopped me on the path. My robin flew up to the tree, and very soon chased the other robin off.

I continued down the path, remembering to practice my quiet walking, and keeping my eyes open for the other birds that were in the trees, seeing if I could get close without startling them.

Just before I came to the end of the path, a bird crashed around in the branches as it flew from one tree to the next beside me. I looked, and saw another (the same?) robin. After saying hello, I continued my walk, wanting to get home to my dinner.

On the street just around the corner from my home, I heard a loud rustling in the bushes in the neighbor’s yard. I looked, and there was another robin. I stopped completely, looked at the bird that was looking at me, and said, “OK! I’m listening! What message do you have for me?”

I received the message to look up the symbolism of the robin. When I arrived home, I went straight to the computer.

On several different websites, I learned that robins are symbols of new beginnings. Just as we may not yet be able to feel the warmth of spring when the robins first return from their winter homes, we know when we see them that spring is on its way.

Knowing that nothing has meaning except the meaning I give it, I chose to see my visits from the robin as a sign that a new season has already begun in my life. I may not see the material and physical signs, yet I have been sent a message that those more apparent signs are just around the corner. That thought has helped me keep positive through some challenges that have come up over the past week.

Blessings,

Mary

Posted in Mary's Musings Tagged choices, new beginnings, robin, spiritual alignment, trust, walking Leave a Comment

Walking in my Mother’s Footsteps

By Mary on February 28, 2011

Thirty six years ago today, my mother gave birth to me. Since that day, I have been following in her footsteps. Some of those patterns are positive, and some…well, not so much.

Some of the positive things I have inherited from my mother are artisitc talent. She is an amazing artist. I’m not quite as good as she is, but I remember some truly incredible paintings she did of some of my favorite cartoon characters. I specifically remember Joyleaf, from ElfQuest. It was a real tribute to Wendy Pini’s work.

My mother has a strong work ethic. If she says she’s going to do something, she does, and she usually over-delivers. She sometimes procrastinates, as do I, but I’m focusing on the positives right now.

My mother is a perfectionist. Some might see this as a negative trait, but I’ve worked to turn it into a positive for myself. It makes me accomplish tasks to the best of my ability. It kind of ties in with over-delivering.

My mother is generous. She gives her time and skills where they are needed. When I was younger, we went with her when she volunteered for the Christmas parties at local senior care homes, and in the parades in the summer. As part of the Telephone Pioneer Clown Club, we appeared at many a summer festival and event painting faces and making baloon animals. I am still very generous with my time and skills, as many of my friends will attest.

And then there is the downside to following in my mother’s footsteps. I sometimes forget to take time out for me; to pamper myself or just have fun. I am working to remember that to be truly able to take care of other people, I need to take care of myself.

I have spent many years becoming more comfortable expressing my feelings as they come up, rather than holding them in. I believe I am healthier for this effort.

I am the major breadwinner in my family (for now!), as my mother was when throughout my youth. I don’t always make the best financial decisions, so I am educating myself, and sorking closely with my husband to make better choices.

I love my mother very much. I am extremely grateful for everything she has given me, the good and the not so good. Because even in the not so good I have been given a truly beautiful gift: the opportunity to learn and make my own choices. Thank you, Mom!

Blessings,

Mary

Posted in Mary's Musings Tagged birthday, choices, family legacy, family patterns, learning, opportunity Leave a Comment

I AM a Powerful Manifestor!

By Mary on June 28, 2010

I just got back from my water aerobics class. This isn’t really big news, I know. But it is for me, because the pool was supposed to close for renovations last Friday.

Almost three weeks ago, I sat down with a couple of friends to set some goals for ourselves for the rest of the month. I introduced them to Raymond Aaron’s Monthly Mentor goal setting program. I don’t make any money from endorsing this program; I just believe it is an excellent system for making progress toward your goals.

I haven’t used it myself in quite some time. So it was good for me to introduce it to my friends, and have others to support and be supported by in moving forward. One of the goals I set for myself was to start going to water aerobics again. I set myself a goal of attending a minimum of two classes, a target of three classes, and my outrageous goal for myself was attending five classes. I thought I had three weeks to acheive this.

Then I found out that the pool was closing June 25th for maintenance and renovations. So I had only two weeks to acheive my goal! I made the comment several times that I was disappointed that just as I was getting back into going to the classes, the pool was closing and I would not be able to keep up the momentum I was creating for myself. I pushed myself in my schedule, and I managed to get to five classes in two weeks!

At class last Friday morning, it was announced that the pool would be open for four more weeks. The architect needed more time. The fitness schedule would be quite limited, but the deep water class I attend is on at the time I prefer to attend, and on the three days of the week I attend.

However indirectly, I told the Universe that I wanted to continue with water aerobics, and the Universe provided the opportunity for me!

This isn’t the only experience I have had of manifesting I have had recently, but it is one of the most obvious. What I observe about myself in this situation, is that I did not directly ask the Universe to keep the pool open. I took action, going to the deep water class at every opportunity in my schedule. I enjoyed the feeling of working out, and I expressed disappointment at the thought of not continuing.

I find I am often challenged in the manifestation process by not taking action, or by getting stuck in the feeling of what I don’t want. Or I manifest unconsciously. I don’t always consciously choose what I want to create in my life. Between The Peaceful Woman’s Inspired Living Coaching series, and getting back into utilizing the MAINLY goal setting system, I am working on becoming more conscious of being a co-creator of my life. I am creating my reality in alignment with my intentions and desires. I AM a powerful manifestor, and I am so grateful!

What tools do you use to set goals and stay focused on your visions?

Blessings,

Mary

Posted in Mary's Musings Tagged alignment, beliefs, blessings, choices, co-creating, coaching, commitment, discipline, dreams, goals, intention, manifestation, manifesting, opportunity, Peaceful Woman, purpose, visions Leave a Comment

Changing my reaction

By Mary on May 17, 2010

I was going to write about my recent experiences with the Peaceful Woman’s Maui Facilitator Passage, but that was before I opened the dryer and found two crayons–one red and one yellow–in with the clothes.

I was completely derailed. Instead of catching up on email, and writing my blog post for today, I ended up spending two hours spraying the newly nulti-colored clothes with stain remover and scrubbing them with a toothbrush. And I did not react very well. I was cranky and grouchy. I cried at one point from sheer frustration. I took my anger out on my husband and my youngest son by yelling at them. Yes, I became downright bitchy. I’m not very proud of myself.

As my anger cooled, I reflected on my reaction. Utilizing tools I have learned from The Peaceful Woman, and Peak Potentials, I wondered if this is how I always react to situations that disrupt my plans. Thinking about other experiences that I have had recently, I have to admit that up until now, I have not reacted well to unpleasant surprises. There are exceptions, of course. There are times when I am able to go with the flow, but those are usually times when I have not created the schedule.

The first step to changing a belief, or behavior pattern, is to be aware that it is there. I am now aware that I react with anger when my schedule goes off track. I have observed myself in a behavior that does not serve me.

Now that I am aware of the behavior I want to change, I can catch myself earlier and earlier in the pattern, and soon I will be able to catch myself *before* the pattern kicks in. I can choose to act in a different way, one that serves my highest good, and does not hurt those that I love. I can choose peace. More important, I can choose!

I have also apologized to my husband and son. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful, loving family!

Blessings,

Mary

Posted in Mary's Musings Tagged behavior pattern, choices, flow, Maui Passage, Peaceful Woman, reaction Leave a Comment

Responsibility

By Mary on January 11, 2010

Many teachers and gurus talk about the importance of taking responsibility for everything in our lives. On one level, I totally get it. Everything, good and bad that has happened to me, all of my current circumstances are a result of choices I have made. I understand, and I accept it.

At another level, I struggle with this lesson. Over and over again.

Here’s how that plays out in my life.

I get a great idea, or an opportunity comes my way. I get excited about the project, and make plans for how I will accomplish it. I get started, and then it hits me…I have three young children.

I become overwhelmed by my perceived time pressure. Between work, spending time with my children and my husband, my journal writing, meditation and spiritual practices, home chores and the new responsibility of whatever the project of the moment is, I start to feel burned out.

I want to be Super Woman, and do it all! The fact remains that I am a mortal woman who gets cranky when I don’t get enough sleep. Not to mention self care!

At times, I have arranged for others to care for my children while I pursue my vision/idea/opportunity. I end up missing them, they miss me, and they start acting out to get my attention. And, I didn’t have children so I could pass them off to someone else to raise. While my children have never been this out of control…

…there are times when my house gets a little out of control! Like now for instance. One is in the bath, and two are chasing each other in circles around the house. And I’m working on this blog post. This would be one of those Calgon moments, right?

There are so many things I want to go out and do. So many things I want to accomplish. And so much of my children’s lives I would miss were I to take off and pursue all those things.

I sometimes console myself with the fact that I am still pretty young, and I will have plenty of time to pursue those dreams as the boys grow older. They are only young once, right? Or, if I miss one opportunity now, another bigger and better opportunity awaits me. And still I struggle with wanting to do it all. NOW! The fact remains that I chose to become a mother, and for all my complaining, I really enjoy growing with my children.

Since this theme keeps recurring in my life, it’s obviously one of those life lessons that is going to keep coming up until I truly figure it out. Or until they all grow up and move out of the house. Nahhh, who am I kidding? I will still want to do more things than I have time to do!

So, how about you? How do you balance all your responsibilities? Do you fully accept responsibility for all aspects of your life?