A Change is as Good as a Rest

That’s what they say, anyway. I’m pretty exhausted after my week of change! Contentedly so, though.

Hello DollyLast summer, I was asked to stage manage the local production of Hello, Dolly! I was hesitant, because stage managing is a big commitment. I was told I wouldn’t need to attend all of the rehearsals, so I agreed to take it on.

As this past week approached, I was wondering about my sanity. The whole week, from Sunday morning to late Saturday night, would be consumed by the show. What was I doing adding to my already busy life??? I had to cancel all of my regular evening activities.

And then my gall bladder gave me problems on Monday. I called in sick to work, but dragged myself into rehearsal. I honor my commitments, and I’d given my word, so I had to keep it. (Unfortunately, my employer didn’t see it that way…)

I was home only to sleep for most of the week. My husband thought I was insane. I think my younger children thought I had abandoned them. My oldest was working on the show with me.

It was so much fun! I got to work with amazing performers, and a fantastic crew, some of whom I knew, and others I just met. The music was great, catchy without being annoying. The challenges along the way were minor bumps in the road, and everyone overcame them like professionals.

I miss working on shows. I love stage managing. It was a week of long days and little sleep, and I’m glad I did it. This is why I love theatre!

And now, to sleep!



Who Will Be Our Mockingjay?

Last week I took my children to see The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1. We’ve read the books, and listened to the audiobooks, and seen all of the films as they have come out.

Mockingjay on fireFrom the first time I read The Hunger Games, I was hooked. I even wrote a post about the similarities between Katniss and Artemis a couple of years ago. There’s something about the dystopian society, and the underdog helping to topple a corrupt society that is extremely engaging. We want to believe that we would not treat our children and citizens so harshly.

A quick glance at the news (and I refuse to actually watch the news, and I still can’t avoid it) reveals the truth – we are being fed on fear and told we need stricter laws to protect us (restricting our rights and freedoms). Meanwhile, police violence is on the rise (there are any number of videos out there showing police using excessive force). Our economic system is based on imaginary money, and is likely heading for collapse, despite government efforts to keep it propped up.

As I was watching the film, I found myself wondering, “who will be our Mockingjay?” What will be the tipping point event that catalyses enough people to say NO MORE?

I’m not a proponent of violence. I am not looking for or forward to a bloody revolution. I’m also not likely to step out and be a leader for the kind of change that is necessary. There are alternatives to violence – look at Iceland and what the Occupy Movement was working toward. “We are the 99%” had many of us energized for a while, but I sense that energy has fizzled.

Any movement for change needs a leader – someone, or several someones, to champion the cause and keep the rest of us focused until the change becomes reality. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and be a leader like that because it also makes you a target. Historically, the most outspoken leaders for major change have not had long life expectancies (Martin Luther King Jr, Abraham Lincoln, Malcolm X, John Lennon…), or lived a life under threat and persecution (Ghandi, Edward Snowden, Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth…).

I don’t have any answers. I wonder how long we will bow down and accept the increasingly restrictive conditions and limitations to our freedoms being imposed on us. I wonder who the champion for change in our generation, who our Mockingjay will be?

In the meantime, I will continue to visualize the world the way I want to see it, and work on standing up to injustice in my own small way where I experience or witness it.



PS. Do you identify with Katniss and Artemis? Claim your spiritual power with A Walk With Artemis. The world needs you.

Endings Also Mean Beginnings

So, it’s that time of the week again – time to write another blog post, and I’ve got nothing. No, really. I’ve been trying to come up with something all day, and inspiration has just not come anywhere near me. How ironic that I am working on my throat chakra and I feel like I have nothing to say! I apologize in advance for the rambling nature of this post.

This past week has been filled with back-to-school for my boys, and supporting all the folks in my community who are struggling with illnesses, both physical and mental.

I’ve even been struggling a bit myself. So many people are having such a hard time, and I feel my energy stores are being tapped out. Not to mention I fell behind in my school work, and then I felt guilty about that, so that didn’t help my energy levels either.

I don’t know that I have any words of wisdom for you this week. Just know that if you are being challenged right now, you are not alone. There is a major energetic shift going on right now, and it has to do with endings. I’ve been feeling the grief that comes with all endings for a while.

spiral upIt seems familiar, like we’ve done this before. We’re moving to the next level of the video game. It generally gets more challenging just before you level up. We’re not moving around a circle, we’re moving up a spiral.

I’m noticing a change in myself about it since I first wrote about it, though. Even though there are endings, I am already beginning to look forward to the beginnings that will come next.

I know there is still quite a bit of time before the transition is complete. We are moving into the dying time of year, the hibernation, the conserving of energy. The days are visibly shorter, the air is cooler, and the leaves are falling from the trees. The new growth of spring is still months away. And since I am aware of how my life’s cycles mirror the cycles of nature, that means that the new growth in my life may still be some time away.

But it is coming. I know it is coming. And I look forward to the beginnings with excitement rather than looking back on the endings with sorrow.

There you go. I guess I did have something to say after all.



Changing My Mind to Change My Reality

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” ~Albert Einstein

In coming out from my trip to the Underworld (otherwise known as emotional breakdown, depression, freak out, etc), I remembered this quote from Einstein.  If I really want to change my circumstances, I need to change how I think about them.

Change My MindI had two conversations last week with friends that helped me get more clarity about what it is that I am really wanting. (Incidentally, both of them are Peaceful Women.) The first happened by synchronicity – because it certainly wasn’t planned, nor was it an accident.

I was on the Peaceful Woman conference line because I thought there was supposed to be a group call.  Only three of us ended up being on the call, so we started to share what had been going on recently for each of us.  I listened to the exciting things that the other two had been doing, and I almost didn’t want to share. I did anyway, and one of the women asked me a question about my situation that many have asked before about why my husband doesn’t do something different.

My first thought was, “Great. Here I go again having to defend choices my husband and I have made.” I briefly explained, and she simply answered, “OK. That’s the vision that I will hold for you then.”

I was shocked. I thanked her right away, and told her how much it meant to me that she didn’t question me or my choices. She just accepted me, and told me she would hold positive space for me. It helped me realize that part of what contributed to my meltdown was having to defend my choices from other people’s suggestions. I was craving this kind of support – acceptance of where I am, and assistance in holding the vision of what I want to create.

Later in the week, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with another Peaceful Woman who is also an amazing Life Coach.  She helped me find even more clarity about why I was feeling so stressed (by uncovering exactly what about my changed circumstances at work was challenging my values), and why I was sabotaging myself from continuing all my positive habits (because they are things I have control over, and I was feeling very out of control in other areas of my life). Simply having the higher awareness of what was really going on for me opened up the space in me to shift my perception.

She also acknowledged me for the growth I have experienced, and for the steps I have already taken to change my perception. I have spoken my truth more fully, and I am beginning to integrate this visit to the Underworld into my entire being, in support of positive change. By crying out to the Universe for help, and being honest that I don’t know what the next step is, the Universe has placed at least three new opportunities before me to provide the help I was asking for.

That’s another interesting shift for me. I don’t feel bad or regret having this meltdown, as I might have done in the past. It is not a sign of weakness. I know that this is part of a cycle towards my own spiritual evolution.

And so I am grateful for the opportunity to learn more about myself.  By getting such a clear message about what I don’t want, and taking the time to explore what led me to this place, I am so much more clear on what it is that I do want. I’m not all the way there yet. And I feel so much better about how I’ve begun.



Choosing Love or Choosing Fear?

The other day on Facebook, this picture caught my eye:

Fear vs. Love

Fear vs. Love

It was paired with the following quote (thank you, Erica Boersma):

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” ~ Les Brown

It was perfect timing for me, as I was contemplating the idea of stepping out of my comfort zone.

For some time now, I feel I have been in a bit of a holding pattern.  There are many things I would like to do, and yet I need to be able to feed my children.  So I continue working at my day job, tinkering away at several other projects on the side, and hoping that a miracle will happen, or deus ex machina will save me from my routine.

I understand that for my situation to change, *I* must change. And still, fear holds me back.  I chose to bring these three amazing children into this world, and I chose the responsibility that goes along with it.  So how can I make a choice that threatens their very survival?

In my coaching work, I encourage others to trust that the Universe will provide.  And if I were my only responsibility, I would absolutely trust. Its not just me though. Others depend on me for food and shelter. So how do I reconcile that with my trust (or in this case, the lack of trust) in the Universe?

I am definitely feeling like the figure in the drawing, walking a tightrope between who I am now, and who I want to be.  And at any moment, fear or love could tip the balance and send me plummeting down or racing forward. Or, the choice could leave me frozen in space, not willing to step forward or backward.

There are times when I think it would be easier if I were less aware.  I could go to work and watch television and not know how much more was out there to experience.  Yet, Oliver Wendell Holmes spoke true when he said,

The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size.

So I shall wait for the fear to pass, and turn my mind to thoughts of love and abundance, and pray that change comes easily and joyfully.

Have any of you ever faced a major decision in your life that affected others, including yourself?  How did you deal with it?  I’d love to hear from you in the comments.