What do you do when life is challenging you?

I didn’t get any housework done yesterday. Nor did I get any homework, or grading, or costuming done. In fact, my personal to do list remains pretty much untouched. I accomplished a lot, though.

LiveThere are a number of people in my spiritual community right now who are not well, or just lonely. What started out as a visit to a friend in the hospital ended up being a tour of ministering to the ill.

It could have been depressing, seeing all those people who are suffering in one way or another. But it was actually uplifting. Seeing the joy I was able to bring just by being present, and truly listening to what was going on for them in that moment, and having no other purpose than to be there for that person was very fulfilling.

It’s days like this that I love my calling. There may not have been any financial compensation, but the reward was well worth it.

I’ve had a lot of discussions with people lately who are having a difficult time, either with their physical or mental health. I’ve even had my own challenges!

My theory is that as we move through this evolutionary change, and work to raise our vibration (or bring through more light, however you want to look at it) we’re going to face increasingly more demanding experiences. Just like when you were in school – the tests you were given in grade 9 were more difficult than the ones you were given in grade 5.

This in itself could be a depressing thought – life isn’t necessarily going to get any easier.

I encourage you to change your perspective. It just gets different. Each test you pass means you get to learn ever more interesting and complex things! You get to grow and have more fascinating experiences. You get to move up to the next level of the video game.

If you think about life like a video game, you know that each level is a little tougher than the one before. You build up slowly, increasing your skill as you go, until you master it and overcome everything it throws at you.

Whatever challenges you are facing right now, know that you are not alone. The Universe will never give you an experience that you are not able to handle. You may just need a little shift in perspective.

If you are struggling, I encourage you to reach out to your support team, the people who love you.

If you feel you have no one to talk to, or would like a little extra help with changing your perspective, I am now offering one-hour single-session consulting to help you shift your mindset and find the positive in your challenges.

One Hour Change Your Perspective Coaching Session

Of course, you can still sign up for a free 1/2 hour sample life coaching session. The choice is yours. You are not alone, and you don’t have to suffer. It lifts me up to help lift you up.

Love and blessings,

Mary

The Power of Choice and Social Media

I hear complaints from people about Facebook fairly regularly, about how negative it is, or how much drama there is. The people who complain about it usually add that they find spending any amount of time there tends to drag them down. A few of my friends have even closed their Facebook accounts because it got to be too much for them.

I don’t find it to be that bad, actually. Sure, I’ve got some really amazing friends who are, on the whole, pretty positive people. On the other hand, I’ve got over 1,000 “friends”, from people I went to high school and university with, to people I have met at various personal development courses, and people from my spiritual community. Not everyone is going to be positive and cheerful all the time.

I don’t really understand how it works, but Facebook has some algorithm that determines what will show up in your news feed. It has something to do with who you have interacted with in the recent past and what types of photos/links/status updates you have liked or commented on, as well as what you have blocked or hidden. Or something like that. I think.

I imagine it is kind of like “reticular activation”. That’s a fancy way of stating, what you focus on, you get more of. So if someone is being consistently negative, or sales-y, I hide them from my feed. I don’t want to see that. I skim over the really gross or upsetting ones. If someone I know well is having a bad day, I’ll offer my <3 and {{{hugs}}}. I “like” a lot of the pictures and articles that are positive in nature. Like this one:

This came up through a friend on Facebook the other day. And I had tears. Good tears. THIS is what I talk about with my clients and my students about choice and perspective. You never know what another person is thinking or has experienced. Everything you tell yourself is a made up story. Sure, it’s easy to make up the story that someone else is out to get you. It takes effort to make up the story that they were oblivious to you, or having a really bad day. And yet, I find my world is so much better when I choose to run my experiences through the filters of compassion and understanding.

Am I perfect at it? NO! Does my mind run away with me and drag me into a pity party sometimes? Absolutely. However, the more I exercise my muscle of choosing to see things from a different perspective, the easier it becomes. That muscle gets stronger. I’d like to sat that eventually it will become my default. I’m not sure, though, because I’m not there yet.

So until then, I’ll keep working on choosing my thoughts, and seeing my experiences in a way that gives others the benefit of the doubt, rather than falling into the rut of thinking that everything is about me.

How often to you fall into default mode? Have you ever had a time where you found out later that what you thought was true wasn’t?

Here are a few tips to help choose your thoughts:

  • Breathe. Taking three deep breaths helps to lower blood pressure, reduce heart rate and gets more oxygen to your brain, which is important for thinking.
  • Observe. What’s really going on? Be impartial and stick to the facts as much as you can.
  • Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would you want to be treated?
  • Make up a different story. Pretend you’re making a film, and someone else is the main character. How would you want it to turn out?
  • Meditate. (Can’t leave that one out!) Meditation has tons of benefits, at least one of which is being centered and connected.

I look forward to hearing your experiences in the comments below!

Blessings,

Mary

PS. Need some help meditating? Check out these free guided meditations!