Encountering My Limits

Some days, I just feel like hibernating.

extra restIt’s been a long few weeks. I’m back to work full time now, and I’ve been on a big learning curve at work as we install a new system. I’m still going to school at the Wiccan Seminary. I jumped in to help coordinate Vancouver Island Pagan Pride Day, which happened this weekend. And I’ve been called on a lot to provide support to the people in my community recently.

I’ve been working on my physical health this past week as well – I’ve been getting up to do yoga a few days a week, and riding bike with my youngest son. )It’s been a really long time since I rode a bike. I forgot how uncomfortable the seat can be!) To make sure I am getting enough sleep while getting up early to do yoga, I’ve been working on getting myself to bed early as well.

As much as some of my friends like to joke about me being Wonder Woman, I’m not. This is really challenging for me to admit some days. I really, REALLY want to do ALL THE THINGS!

I want to read, I want to learn, I want to be physically fit, I want to spend time with my children, I want to help the people I love and care about, I want to be entertained, I want to write, I want to teach, I want to listen, I want to share, I want to perform, I want to serve my community, I want to spend time with friends, I want to spend time alone.

And I still need to eat, and sleep and work and take care of myself and my family. Yet I almost feel guilty if I take a day to do nothing other than rest and regather my energy for the coming week.

I encourage others to be gentle with themselves, yet I push myself to do more all the time. I am very quick to help others, and I don’t often ask for help myself. Thankfully I have a very supportive husband.

Just as I have set a schedule for sleep and exercise, I am setting a schedule that Sundays are my relax days. If I get homework done, wonderful! If not, that’s ok too. I am making a practice of being gentle with myself, and learning (once again) how to say no.

I’m a work in progress, just like everyone. I have to push my boundaries to understand where they are and where they need reinforcing. And I’d rather push too far once in a while than never push them at all.

Do you know where your limitations are? Do you push your boundaries, or stay safely within them? Please leave your comments below.

Blessings,

Mary

PS. The picture in this post appeared in my Facebook news feed moments after I finished writing. The quote attached to it said:

The current energy is triggering insomnia, irritability, fatigue, and feelings of guilt. The ego energy of fear is trying to maintain control — don’t fall into its trap!

Listen to your feelings, but don’t impulsively act upon them. Detach from all forms of drama, don’t take anything personally, and practice all of your spirituality tools to keep yourself centered and peaceful.

~Doreen Virtue

Very timely indeed. Message received, Universe! Message received.

Breakdown!

This week I had a breakdown. Yep, positive, optimistic me turned into a basket case. Not for very long, but it was long enough to force me to reassess my boundaries.

Thankfully, it's behind me now.

Thankfully, it’s behind me now.

It started with lack of sleep, which led to a cold, which led to me choosing extra sleep over doing yoga in the morning. Add a couple of events at work that elevated my stress level, and caving in and eating stress foods (read: crap), which only made me feel worse instead of better. I think PMS played a role, too. All of it combined to the perfect storm – a storm of tears and sobbing. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t comfortable either.

I’m still recovering from the last of the cold, and working on catching up on my sleep. I’ve also had to work on alkalizing my body after eating so much junk food for the better part of a week. And eating some better foods. (Thank goodness for Bolthouse Farms Green Goodness smoothies.)

I had a rough couple of days at work, but once I calmed down, or surfaced above the wave of overwhelm (could even be depression), I was able to calmly talk to my manager about ways to shift my workload and get some assistance there. I’m very pleased that I was able to stay calm as I talked with her, especially because there is no way I could have done that just 24 hours before.

I’m also going to reduce my workload on the blog here. I have a lot going on in my personal life leading up to Spring Mysteries (Easter for the rest of you), so I’ll only be writing once a week. I may even take some time off altogether closer to Easter. I have to make sure I take care of myself, though.

I also have a question for you – what’s going on for you right now? What would you like to learn about, or hear more about from my experiences?

Blessings,

Mary