How important is it?

The autumn equinox has just passed, and so balance is on my mind. Day and night were in equal balance for just a moment, and now we tip into the dark time of the year, the Underworld.

Equinox by Molly Costello

Equinox by Molly Costello http://www.mollycostello.com

Actually, balance has been on my mind for a while now. A couple of weeks ago, at our Full Moon ritual, we used my Balance Guided Meditation to reassess the priorities in our lives.

And I’ve had a few conversations with friends recently about how to balance all the parts of our lives. We all seem to be so busy! Working more than one job, doing things on the side to make ends meet, going to classes (or teaching them) in the evenings, making time for family… Where’s the me time? What about exploring things just because we WANT to? Or the things that support our overall well-being?

The question that keeps coming up for me is how important is it? (And then the refrain from Walk Off the Earth’s song These Times: “I just don’t want it, I just don’t want it enough I guess”, which is totally me when it comes to exercise… I want to, but I don’t want it enough.)

For me, my spirituality and spiritual practice is vital. Being a priestess is an essential part of who I am and what I do. I can’t turn that part of myself off. I am sad and disappointed when I have to miss rituals or festivals. My spiritual family is as important to me as my biological family.

And while I understand that priority is not the same for everyone in my spiritual community, I always have a moment of disorientation when someone chooses another activity over spiritual practice. I have to remind myself that my priorities are not necessarily their priorities. I imagine others have the same experience with me since exercise is low on my priority list.

Not only do I have to ask myself how important something is to me, I need to remember to ask others how important a certain thing is to them. Because they may not want it as much as I do, and expecting them to is setting us both up for disappointment.

And asking myself how important something is helps remind me to not expect too much of myself, and not over-commit myself. In this way I avoid overwhelm, or disappointment about not being able to do everything I want to do. Well, sort of. I still get disappointed that I can’t do it all, however, I have more realistic expectations about what I am willing to sacrifice, and what I am NOT willing to sacrifice.

So, how important is it to you?

Blessings,

Mary

 

The Dying of the Year

We’ve passed the Autumn Equinox. Here in the Northern Hemisphere, the days are getting shorter and the nights are getting longer. The leaves are turning colors and falling from the trees. It is the dying of the year.

The Dying of the YearAnd we have a family friend who is dying. He’s been a part of our lives for… more than eight years, at least.

Jeff contacted my husband and me separately, about different interests, when he and his wife, Lani, were looking at moving to the Comox Valley. We were corresponding by email for several months before my husband and I figured out we were talking to the same person, just before they arrived.

We weren’t able to visit as much as we may have liked, as they lived on one of the smaller Islands when they first moved here, and ferry schedules are a thing. We discovered a lot of similar interests, from theatre to spirituality to tabletop and role playing games (those last two are more my husband’s interests than mine, though I’ve been known to play from time to time).

A couple of years ago, Jeff learned he had cancer. He’s been a trooper through several rounds of chemotherapy, and he was managing well. And then, this summer, he took a turn for the worse.

Though we were going out of town for the weekend, we took time to visit him in the hospital, because the doctors gave him days, or at most weeks, to live. Over the weekend, he improved, and the days turned into weeks, and possibly months. Husband and I (he more so than I because of my work schedule), regularly went to visit, and help our friend’s wife with whatever she needed help with – physical and emotional support.

jeff-2Jeff was improving, and they began looking at moving him into a nursing home, while we did what we could to assist Lani.

This weekend, he was moved to Hospice care. He took a turn for the worse. Jeff graduated this life at 7:53 pm last night.

He was not afraid of death. Neither am I. When one has lived a good and full life, there is nothing to fear in passing from this life, just as the trees do not fear the loss of the leaves.

I am honored to have shared a portion of his life. I will grieve his passing for my loss, not for his. For him, I will celebrate his good and full life.

Blessings,

Mary