Last week was particularly busy for my family. It seems the theater bug has bitten my whole family.

Missoula Children’s Theater came to town this past week. If you haven’t heard of them, they run a wonderful program for children. Two actor-directors travel around in a red F150. It carries the whole set, scripts, costumes and props to put on a one-hour play, usually a version of a well-known fairy tale. Children from all of the local schools are invited to audition after school on Monday. Those who are chosen rehearse all week, and perform twice on Saturday. At the end of the evening, the actor-directors pack up their truck and move on to the next community.

All three of my boys auditioned, and all three got parts in The Pied Piper!

A few weeks ago, my husband received a call and was asked to audition for a reader’s theater production of Norm Foster’s The Foursome. Reader’s Theater is where the actors read from scripts. They use limited sets, props and costumes, relying primarily on expression to convey the meaning of the play. His performances were also this week.

So basically, because of other events scheduled for Sunday and Monday of last week, it has been a pretty crazy two weeks. My husband and I declared this Sunday a day of rest.

I slept in for the first time in…quite a while. I had a very strong desire to stay in my pajamas and not do anything all day, except maybe surf the net. And then the sun started shining through the front window, and it called me to move my body. So I compromised. I put on my yoga clothes and did yoga for the first time since sometime last fall. Or maybe even last summer.

I forget how much I enjoy the yoga DVD I have. (Jada Fire’s Expressive Yoga for the Soul if you are interested.) And I was truly amazed at how much stronger and more flexible I am since I have been working out on the Wave Vibration Fitness Machine at my chiropractor’s office. Some day I’m going to get one to use at home!

It felt so good to have a day with nothing really planned. It is so easy to get wrapped up in all the projects I am involved in. I sometimes forget that I need to schedule down time as well. Rest and relaxation are an important part of keeping balanced and maintaining positive mental health. When balance and mental health are not looked after, everything else becomes much more difficult.

The only thing I scheduled for the day was a phone call with a friend that I hadn’t talked to in ages. It was refreshing and energizing to catch up with her, and laugh with her. Again, it definitely helped with the balance and positive mental health.

I am very grateful that I, and my husband, took a day off, a day of nothing, a day of rest.

Blessings,

Mary

The days are lengthening. The coldest part of winter is over (at least where I live). The huckleberries are starting to sprout colorful buds, and I expect to see snowdrops any day. It’s time for a shift in energy.

I realized the other day that the three Goddesses I have worked with so far have been Underworld goddesses, Dark Mothers and Crones.  I’m ready for a shift in energy – something lighter, or at least more vibrant.

So I am turning to you once again for input. Who would you like to learn more about next?

Some have argued that the “wicked witch” stereotype of fairy tales is a construct of patriarchal cultures efforts to oppress women, specifically older women who were the wisdom-holders in the past. I’ve been thinking about this with regard to Baba Yaga. Is she a vilified wise-woman? Or is she an evil old woman to be feared?

I think there is a little bit of truth in both versions. Once upon a time, those who survived into old age were honored. They had contributed their part to society, and they had experiences that younger men and women could turn to for advice.

Now our society no longer holds the same regard for the wisdom that only age can bring. We despise the loss of beauty and virility; we become angry that we have to take care of those who were once able to care for themselves; we shut the old away where we don’t have to see them or think about them except on the rare occasions that we go to visit them. (Please do not take this personally; I am speaking in generalities about our society).

Baba Yaga’s nasty reputation precedes our modern abhorrence to old age, however. Her stories were told to little children as moral guidance and to scare them away from the deep woods, or into following instructions.

During the Inquisition, many women and men were accused of witchcraft for knowing the healing properties of herbs, or being midwifes, or looking at the wrong person the wrong way.  I definitely think that this was an effort to suppress women of knowledge.  And yet, how does this affect Baba Yaga.

I mentioned in my last post that she has been elusive. Boldly seeking her to ask her wisdom was not the right way to approach her.  So I tried again, with awe and reverence, and yes, even a bit of fear. How do I KNOW she is not going to eat me?

She told me that if I want to be honored as a wise woman when I am older, I need to remember and honor and care for the wise women in my own life. I need to seek them out with awe and reverence, and yes, even a bit of fear. For they may react in anger at first, for being so long ignored, and I may be in danger of being eaten up by their hunger to share their wisdom and experiences.

It is time once again to honor the transitions women go through. To celebrate each one: the passage into life, from maiden to mother, from mother to crone, from crone into death, and from death back into life. It is here, at the end of the cycle that Baba Yaga dwells. She has long been the crone, passing the wise and the foolish into death so that they may be reborn once again.

Our culture is starting to remember to honor ourselves as we age. As the population grows ever older, we are no longer satisfied to be put aside in the golden years. Many women, like Marianne Williamson Jean Shinoda Bolen, are starting to write about reclaiming the power of growing older, the power of the Crone.

Though I am still quite young, I honor the wise woman. I intend to grow gray gracefully, and claim the wisdom and power that only comes with experience. And I look to those women ahead of me in age that surround me and I see bright examples of how I want to be when I grow up.

Blessings,

Mary

Its been several weeks since I last wrote about Baba Yaga. A lot has happened since then in my personal life, as well as in my research.

Baba Yaga by Ravenari

Baba Yaga is not easy to track down. She is remarkably hard to find, even in my meditation time. There are some folktales and stories about her. It seems, though, that few have delved into her mysteries, and shared what they have learned. Perhaps they were shown to be unworthy and were eaten up?

But she was not always easy to find in the folktales either. She lived deep in the dark forest, in a kingdom far beyond this one. The young hero or heroine had to travel long and far to find her hut that turned on its chicken legs.

One must have courage to go looking for Baba Yaga. For she is the “Dark Mother”, the “Devouring Mother” (as opposed to the “Good Mother” or “Abundant Mother”). The Good Mother feeds us and clothes us and wraps us in her arms to protect us from the things that lurk in the night. She speaks soothing, loving words to us. The Dark Mother eats us instead of feeding us, makes us work to earn the right to continue living instead of nurturing, and speaks harsh words, if she speaks to us at all.

And yet, she prepares us for the next round of life. Like a plant that must wither and die, only to sprout fresh in the spring, we must die to who we were to be reborn to who we are becoming. There is no life without death, and no death without life.

Baba Yaga knows the power of fire – its heat, light, and animating force for life, as well as its destructive nature. She is also the guardian of the waters of life and death. These waters, like fire, have the power to harm or to heal.

To seek Baba Yaga is to seek death to some part of yourself, knowing that this death will create space for something new to flourish.  To destroy that which no longer serves you to allow that which does to enter in. To kill ignorance and denial in search of wisdom and understanding.

Perhaps I have had a hard time finding Baba Yaga because I am not yet ready to let go of the old. Or WAS not ready. I am ready now. And so I pick up my journey once more where I left of before. Time to embrace endings and new beginnings!

Blessings,

Mary

Time is speeding up. How often have you said to yourself, “Where did this day/week/month go?” Or, “How can it be the end of the month already?” I catch myself saying this all the time, and I hear many others around me echoing this same sentiment.

But is time really speeding up, or is it just our perception that it is? The turning of one year into the next often causes me to reflect on the year that is ending. What did I accomplish? What did I say I wanted to accomplish that I may not have? And what do I want to accomplish in the year to come?

This reflection is why many people make New Year’s Resolutions – to remind them of what they want to accomplish. So often, these resolutions are forgotten, or even consciously thrown out the window before the end of January.

I heard a year or two ago that the pulse of the Earth has been getting faster. I found this quote several places online:

“Time is actually speeding up (or collapsing). For thousands of years the Schumann Resonance or pulse (heartbeat) of Earth has been 7.83 cycles per second, The military have used this as a very reliable reference. However, since 1980 this resonance has been slowly rising. It is now over 12 cycles per second! This mean there is the equivalent of less than 16 hours per day instead of the old 24 hours. “

It has me reflecting on time, and my appreciation of time. I’ve been given some opportunities in the past week, and I’m really having to take an honest look at how I use the time I have.

I often think that I can fit something that I want to do into my schedule. Looking ahead, I think, “Oh, I have time in the evenings  or weekends to do that, no problem!” But when the evenings come, I am exhausted from work, or I need to take time with my children, or someone phones, and suddenly it is time to sleep.

It comes down to two questions: What is my passion? And what is my purpose? When I look at the opportunities in that light, it is much easier to decide whether to say yes or no or not now. And keeping those questions in mind helps me stay focused as I set my goals for this coming year. Because when I am in alignment with my passion and my purpose, time flies because I am enjoying myself, and not because I have taken on too much.

Blessings,

Mary

Do you need help discovering your passion or your purpose? Do you need someone to keep you focused on the goals you have set for yourself? Do you need help setting goals? Consider hiring a life coach. I offer a free sample session to find out if we make a good team.

]]> http://walkswithin.com/2012/01/speeding-into-2012/feed/ 0 http://walkswithin.com/2011/12/blessed-with-abundance/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=blessed-with-abundance http://walkswithin.com/2011/12/blessed-with-abundance/#comments Mon, 26 Dec 2011 17:17:57 +0000 Mary http://walkswithin.com/?p=1201

Yesterday was Christmas, a time when some of us think about our own brand of spirituality, some of us take joy in giving, and some of us are all about getting (I won’t even call it receiving).

I was a little bummed as I put out the Christmas stockings, and mine was only half filled. There were no presents for me under the tree (well, there was one, kind of – it was for me and the rest of my family). I didn’t let my slump last long though. There were quite a few presents for my boys, and I had been a little worried that they would have precious few gifts to open. And I did buy myself a present a few days before Christmas.

I enjoyed seeing them get excited about the items my husband and I had found for them. I started seeing the abundance all around me: the abundance of gifts for my children, the abundance of birds in the trees outside, the abundance of love in my home, and food in my cupboards, and activities to keep my mind engaged.

I spent the day cooking for my family, and was gifted with the thanks of full tummies throughout the house (which, in a house with three growing boys, is a rare blessing indeed!).

I even went for a walk in the sunshine with my sweetheart for the first time in many weeks.

By the end of the day, I was feeling full to overflowing with blessings in my life. And so I share some of my blessings.

Until January 15th, 2012, use the coupon code “holiday11″ to save 50% off your next order of guided meditations. And may you be blessed with abundance this year!

Blessings,

Mary

As some of you know, I had surgery a week and a half ago, and I’ve been resting and recovering since then. Well, recovering anyway. Last week was the final week of school and after school activities for my boys before Christmas, so there were Christmas parties and concerts. And, of course, all happening in the same 24 hour period!

I forget how much rest my body needs to facilitate healing. Tuesday and Wednesday were the worst. Tuesday I was only busy first thing in the morning, and then in the evening, but I didn’t take a nap that afternoon. I was so exhausted when the boys’ activities were finally over for the evening, I couldn’t wait to get into bed. I think it was 8:00 pm.

I was able to sleep in some on Wednesday before heading out to the different schools to participate in each child’s Christmas concert/crafts. As it was, I had to miss the oldest’s talent show because it was at the same time as the activities at the younger two’s school.  Again, after bouncing between classrooms trying to give each child my attention, I was exhausted.

This past week I have done a lot of sleeping, a lot of meditation, and a lot of self-Reiki. Some of it must have paid off, because the surgeon said there was less bruising than he has seen. I think that may also be thanks to the many others who sent me Reiki and healing during and right after my surgery. (Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!!!)

I’m still caught up in the whirlwind of activities that come with the holiday season, and having a little boy’s birthday this week. But I am doing my best to not overplan my time off, so that I can get as much rest as possible. I plan to start the new year rested, healed and as healthy as I can! (Easier said than done sometimes, in a house with 3 young boys! LOL!)

Blessings,

Mary

Hello. My name is Mary, and I am a workaholic.

I’ve known for a long time that I am one of those women who does too much. And reading the meditations for women like me didn’t seem to help.

Part of my trouble is there is so much I want to experience and accomplish and learn and do! All of the major things on my project list are important to me. I’ve gone over my list numerous times, trying to decide which one I am willing to give up, and the answer is always, “none of them.”

This week, I realized that by having too many things on the go, I am not really doing justice to any of them. None of the projects are getting the attention and commitment I would prefer to give them, because I have too many other things taking up my time. So I end up doing a project half-heartedly instead of putting all of my energy into one or two things and doing them really well.

Or, some projects just don’t get any of my time at all, even though I fully intended to do great things. And then I feel guilty that I am not following through on my commitments, which doesn’t serve me either.

Then, I read this very interesting article, December Forecast 2011, from the Power Path. It basically affirmed for me that I need to draw my boundaries. Our perception of time is speeding up, and I need to choose where I want to direct my energy.

I have pretty much decided which projects are going to stay, and which are going to be placed on the back burner. I don’t know if I can truly give them up, even now, as they are so close to my heart and aligned with my passion. However, I can consciously choose to set them aside for now, instead of letting them languish and eat away at my energy.

I feel that if I can pare down, and do one (or two) things really, REALLY well, then the success that I have been looking for will find me, and more opportunities will open up that allow more time for the other experiences I want to be having.

Now, to keep myself focused and not get distracted by all the pretty, shiny temptations along the way!

Blessings,

Mary

WARNING: If you are uncomfortable or offended by candid body talk, particularly about breasts, DO NOT READ THIS POST. You have been warned.

In less than two weeks, I’m going under the knife. It’s not because of cancer or any illness. I’m having breast reduction surgery.

Breast reduction has been something I’ve thought about on and off for many years. I was pleased when I was a 36C in high school. When I surpassed DD, I wasn’t so happy any more.

In University, when other young women were bemoaning their small chests, I used to joke, “You can have some of mine.” Only I wasn’t entirely joking. If there was a way to transplant from me to them, I would have done it. I probably could have helped out 3 or 4 of those women!

My college roommate came to my wedding reception after having the surgery done – she looked great, and she was so happy, she was glowing! After we moved to Vancouver, I asked my doctor about it. She advised me to wait until after I was through having children if I wanted to breastfeed. That was important to me, so I waited.

As expected, my breasts grew with each pregnancy, and with breastfeeding. After the first two, the size went back down somewhat. I don’t know exactly what size I was during all this time, because I wasn’t buying bras that fit properly.

At times, I was OK with my bust size. Every once in a while, I actually enjoyed being voluptuous. At other times, I hated it. I dislike not being able to wear button up blouses because they gap across my chest. If they don’t then they are completely shapeless.

I would tell myself that this is the body I was given, and I really should be happy with myself the way I am. That maybe this was part of my life lesson – to accept myself just the way I am.

After my third son was born, I had the typical swell in size. I expected them to shrink a bit once I stopped nursing him. They got bigger. I was so choked! That just wasn’t fair!

Not long after, I decided that I would celebrate my move from part time to full time by buying a properly fitted bra. I went to the local lingerie store and had a fitting a couple of months before I actually started working full time. I was a 38F.

It was quite a psychological blow. I knew I was big, but I didn’t realize I was THAT big. And bras that size are EXPENSIVE! I figured with $200, I could probably buy at least two bras, and I would have that after my first full time paycheck.

By the time I went back to the store my bra size had changed again. I was now a 38G. The bra that fit the best cost $175. I was choked that I would only be able to buy one, but I thought I could maybe find it online cheaper. No such luck.

I was truly amazed the difference a properly fitted bra made! I felt great, I felt pretty for the first time in quite a while, and it was easier to stand up straight! I vowed to buy properly fitting bras from now on.

But not at $175 a pop. Next time I went back to Minnesota to visit my family, I was on a hunt for properly fitting bras. The department stores do carry them, but not many of the larger sizes, so they sell out quickly. I came home with one bra, and it was not pretty. Let’s just say it reminded me of my grandma’s bras. It was only (only!) $60, though. How I envy those women who can go into any Wal-Mart and buy a bra for under $30.

I figured I could handle having large breasts as long as I wore the right size bra. It was still very embarrassing to set off the metal detector at the airport because of my bra though. I went to all the trouble of removing all my jewelry and wearing yoga clothes with no buttons or zippers, only to have to be patted down because of the underwires!

On one of my Peaceful Woman Passages in Maui, we got to talking about breasts. One woman said having a breast reduction was the best thing she ever did. I gave the line about accepting myself. It got me thinking about reduction again.

It turns out I know the wife of one of the plastic surgeons in town. So I asked her about it. I got all the details, and got my referral. I’ve since talked to half a dozen other women who have had it done, and they all agree – it was one of the best decisions they ever made.

I’m a little nervous about having general anesthesia, and my recovery time after the surgery.

I’m looking forward to not having pain when I take my bra off; to being at least a little closer to having both breasts be similar size (one is a lot bigger than the other right now); and to being able to wear button up blouses again. And I am looking forward to the time off from work. I’m hoping to record one or two new meditations for you!

All in all, I feel I am making the right decision for me. Because no matter how I change my shape and size, I will still BE the same ME!

Blessings,

Mary

Maybe. I might put it off until tomorrow, though. Did I mention I’m a procrastinator sometimes?

Last week was extremely busy for me – more packed than my usually crazy schedule. We loaded the set into the theater on Sunday, rehearsed Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, and then had shows from Wednesday – Sunday (2 on Saturday). After the show yesterday, we struck the set, and took it all back to the clubhouse.

Today, I slept in. And I’m still in my pj’s. I have a few self-care things planned for my day, before the Peaceful Woman meet-up tonight. But I’m relishing this tiny amount of down time before I go back to work tomorrow.

So, I’m keeping this post very short, because it is too close to being like work right now. I may be back next week with something less fluffy. We’ll see.

Blessings,

Mary