This past week was an interesting one. Interesting as in let me crawl in my blanket fort and hide.
I experienced anxiety for the first time in ages. None of my usual coping mechanisms were working. I grounded. I worked on my shields. I breathed. I watched Netflix. I walked. In spite of being in the last week of my current Whole30, and not even really wanting sugar, I wanted junk food, and I wanted it BAD.
When I feel stressed, I eat. And you can tell the level of stress by the junk food that I eat. A little stress = chocolate. Moderate stress = chips and chocolate. High stress = Cool Ranch Doritos, Dr. Pepper, and peanut M&Ms. For the first time in over a year, I was at the Dr. Pepper and Doritos stress/anxiety level.
I’m committed to my Whole30, though. I wasn’t about to break the rules. And I had eaten a lovely lunch. I wasn’t even hungry. I sat in observation of myself, this craving that wasn’t coming from anything my body needed (not that it ever did NEED that crap).
It was distracting. (Isn’t that part of the problem with anxiety?) I couldn’t focus on work. Maybe I could go to the health food store around the corner and find some chocolate that wouldn’t break the rules. Though I knew that if I went out, I would end up with something less than healthy, and then I would feel guilty for giving in to junk.
I finally caved (kind of?) and ate some walnuts and dried apples, even though I wasn’t hungry. I’m glad I had a healthy option available. And I’m super proud of myself for not letting the craving get the better of me. I still ate my stress, but not nearly the same way I have in the past. Even better, I was able to observe my response, and make a choice rather than a reflex or habit response. It’s been quite the journey getting to this place, and I hope to continue the progress and move past this altogether.
Do you eat your emotions and stress, or do you starve them? How do you handle your cravings for things that aren’t good for you?
30 days have come and gone. I’ve had no grains, no legumes, no dairy, no alcohol, and no sugar for over a month. Well, it’s possible I had a little bit of sugar – I prefer not to eat salad without dressing, and I’ve been eating out because of travel. However, it’s nowhere near the amount of sugar I had in my diet before.
It’s been an amazing month. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, though there were a few times when it WAS hard (can you say PMS – I want to eat ALL THE THINGS!). It’s also been a crazy month, with ups and downs in my health unrelated to my diet (thank you, sinus infection; NOT).
So here’s the benefits I have received from eating this way:
- My skin is clearer.
- The eczema on my hands is reduced.
- I’ve experienced less inflammation and pain.
- My gall bladder has not been bothering me.
- I wake up easier in the morning.
- I have more energy.
- I don’t get (as) winded climbing the (steep) stairs at work.
- I can take the stairs at work faster.
- I have more will-power.
- I’m not (as) tempted by junk food.
- Fewer cravings.
- I don’t need caffeine to get through the day.
- My energy is more sustained – I don’t crash at 2 pm, or 6 pm.
- I’m more productive.
- I sleep better.
- I’ve started doing yoga again.
- I don’t use food as a reward anymore.
- I don’t comfort eat.
- I completed what I said I was going to do!
- I released 13 pounds.
- I reduced an average of 2 inches in my measurements.
Now, those last two are happy side effects. They weren’t my main goals setting out. My main goals were more energy and less pain. I’ve definitely seen improvements! And I’m not quite where I would like to be.
So I’ve decided to extend another 15 days, and *then* start reintroducing some of the foods I’ve been avoiding. (My birthday is at the end of the month, so I want to be able to treat myself!) If I’ve seen this much improvement in 30 days, I’m hoping that continuing to eat healthier will continue to bring more improvement to my health.
I’ve been traveling down to Washington state regularly. Shopping for food that is Whole30 compliant – RANT!
On the other hand, I found two amazing pairs of boots for significantly less than I would be able to buy them up here in Canada – RAVE.
Here’s to better luck next weekend!
I’m probably more than a little crazy. Almost every weekend from January to Easter, I make the long, long trip from my home to Seattle (or sometimes Index) for a four hour rehearsal for Spring Mysteries Festival.
Is it worth it? Yes!
Whole30 update: Woo hoo! I’m half way through!
I’ve been having “food dreams” the past few days. I wake up feeling guilty about cheating. In my dream, I will have had a huge bottle of (not natural) lemonade, or a giant chocolate Santa. I don’t even wake up craving or wanting those things, just guilty that I consumed them, or disappointed that I have to start over.
And then I’m super grateful that I DON’T have to start over!
On a positive note, it’s easier to climb the stairs at work. We have two very steep sets of stairs at work. We jokingly call it our work out program. Before the Whole30, I would get quite winded climbing them. Now, I am much less winded when I get to the top. OK, still a little. And it is so much better! I can go up more quickly, too.
So, I’m starting to see improvements. Yay!
How was your week?
I’m very excited to be at “The Tab” (The Aquarian Tabernacle Church), reconnecting with some of my spiritual family that I haven’t seen in a while, and getting ready for the first read-through of the script for this year’s Spring Mysteries Festival.
I also give an update on my first week of the Whole30. (It’s not entirely easy to manage while eating out, and I made good choices!)
If you haven’t registered for Spring Mysteries Festival, and you would like to go, you still have a couple more days to get in on the Early Bird pricing! Go. Register now!