Monthly Archives: October 2018

Choose Again

Just over a week ago, I worked on the load out for the Cirque du Soleil arena show in Victoria. It was a long afternoon and evening of pushing boxes so they could be loaded onto trucks. 22 semi trailers to be exact.

The work required steel toed boots. Let’s just say that my feet were not used to these boots. I got massive blisters on both my heels. So while I knocked it out of the park for my step goal on that day, I didn’t walk much the rest of the week. Heck, I could barely tolerate wearing shoes!

Last week also turned out to be quite the stress storm at work. We were down two staff members, and I suddenly had to be training someone rather than doing the rest of my work and getting ready to be gone for a while. (I’m going to Hekate’s Sickle Festival this weekend, and then to the Parliament of World Religions at the end of the month). Combine that with Dr. Pepper that just happened to be left over from a recent show, and I caved.

Very little walking, high amounts of sugar. Will-power = nil.

Add to that last minute preparations for a Spirit Fair that I organized this past weekend. It was not an easy time.

It’s all over now. I’m very proud that I got back to meeting and even exceeding my step goal on the weekend, and today (Monday) I turned down sugar. I opted for an herbal tea instead of a chai latte.

For me, this is a perfect example of choosing again. I could have let this experience completely derail my choices to eat less sugar and get more exercise. In the past, I absolutely would have. I would have gotten down on myself, and given up.

However, I have the opportunity to choose again every day. I chose a little differently on Sunday. I chose even more different on Monday. I may choose the opposite this weekend while I am at the Festival – I don’t know yet. It can be a temporary choice, a temporary setback.

We all have a choice, every single day. Are you choosing consciously?

Blessings,

Mary

Emotional Exhaustion

My apologies for not writing last week. I’m exhausted, especially emotionally. Yet there is no option to stop.

My Facebook feed has been filled with friends of mine sharing their stories of abuse and sexual assault. I don’t watch the news, but I know that it has been filled with the story of Kavanuagh’s nomination and confirmation to the Supreme Court of the United States.

My heart is sick with the stories of my sisters (and brothers) including Christine Blasey Ford. I’ve debated whether it would be worthwhile for me to share my stories. For many, speaking out has been healing and empowering. For many others, hearing or reading about what others have experienced has been triggering.

It is not my intention to open anyone’s old wounds. I also do not feel the need to poke at my past experiences. I have forgiven my transgressors and taken away the power they once had over me. I choose not to give those people or events any more power by rehashing the experiences. They have paid their own price, and must answer to their Gods for their actions.

Witnessing is powerful, and it is tiring. Speaking up and fighting is also tiring. Attempting to convince people who have no idea the harm they have done is wrong is exhausting. Even more exhausting is fighting those who are desperate to remain in power at any cost.

It can be tempting to give up in the face of what looks like insurmountable odds. Why keep going if it seems like our actions and words make no difference? Is it worth the effort and the exhaustion?

YES.

Even if only one person’s experience is validated. Even if only one person opens their eyes and changes their mind. Even if only one person makes a different choice, one that values another person’s choice. It IS worth the effort.

If sharing your story empowers you, keep sharing. If you can only be a listening ear, listen. Support each other. Love each other.

VOTE. Your voice is powerful only if you use it.

Blessings,

Mary