Monthly Archives: April 2018

I’m Happy For You!

I’ve noticed an interesting shift in myself recently. I’m genuinely happy for other people’s successes. Not that I wasn’t happy for people in the past. It’s different now, though.

I'm so excited for you! Tell me all about itAlways in the past, whenever someone would share good news with me, I would express happiness. Inside, though, I would often feel jealousy. Not much, just a twinge. OK, sometimes a lot, depending on how big the news was. My happiness for others was tainted. Why wasn’t that, or similar, good fortune coming my way?

Lately, however, that twinge is gone. I honestly feel excited for others’ happiness. I want to see my friends joyful and successful!

Sure, there are still some things that I would like improved in my own life. There is always room for improvement. And I enjoy celebrating my own achievements.

Right now, though, I want to celebrate YOUR achievements! What is going well in your life? What’s new and exciting? Drop me a comment and let me celebrate you!

Blessings,

Mary

 

Leadership Can Be Lonely

You’ve heard the phrase, “It is lonely at the top”? I may not be at the top, however, I have had a taste of this loneliness from time to time.

When I first started running a Women’s Circle, it was more a group of friends getting together, and I was just the organizer, the party planner if you will. Most of the women who attended were my friends, or became my friends.

Through education and training, I became a teacher, and more and more a leader. It also began to separate me from my friends. I was driven. I knew what I wanted, and I devoted myself to my spiritual pursuits. That is, in addition to my family and a now full time job.

My increasingly busy schedule certainly didn’t help me remain as closely connected to my friends as I would like. Their lives shifted and changed as well, and many of them moved away. My Circle shifted and changed as well, and new friends came and went.

I started teaching at the Wiccan Seminary online, and taking more students in real life as well, teaching Wicca and Reiki. My new students didn’t know me as well, and by this time I had achieved some status in the ATC. I wasn’t one step ahead anymore. I was several. So I was put on a pedestal. Not by everyone, and not about everything. However, I have at least some of my personal sh!t sorted out, so I look pretty well put together.

Then, of course, there’s the rule of leaders not sharing problems down. There are not a lot of people that are willing to put in the work to progress. So the farther I go, the fewer people there are to connect with and talk to.

Thankfully, some of my students are able to clear the illusion that I am perfect (I can tell you I am DEFINITELY NOT perfect!), and treat me like a person. Yet I’m still separate. They can connect with each other in a way that I cannot, because I am the leader.

I was reminded of this at Spring Mysteries. I was so happy so many of my students were there, connecting with each other and bonding through this shared experience. Yet I was unable to spend much time with them, because I had other work to do. There we were, together yet separate.

It is definitely a case of “be careful what you wish for”. I wished to be a Priestess, a Healer and a Teacher. I just didn’t realize back then how lonely leadership could be.

I am grateful to every one of my students, online and in person. I am grateful for each of you who read my blog. And I am grateful for my teachers. I look forward to all the moments I get with each of you. Our connection is valuable to me.

Blessings,

Mary

Back to Mundane Life… Sort of

I’m finally back from Spring Mysteries Festival, and it’s taking me a while to recover. It’s always challenging returning to the mundane (“normal”) world after spending the better part of a week in magical space.

Persephone Returns HomeI think this was more challenging than in the past because I really pushed my limits this year. Besides being the Vessel of Persephone, I was also the ritual director for the event, and I was part of a couple of other rituals leading up to the main rituals on the weekend.

Leading up to Spring Mysteries, I had already drained my reserves pretty low. I’ve been working with my naturopath to figure out what has been causing fatigue, and we are finally getting closer. However, I’ve been dealing with fatigue for months, and keeping a very busy schedule in spite of the exhaustion. There was only one weekend I had off rehearsals since January, and that weekend was spent sewing costumes.

The week before I left for Mysteries, I stayed up late every night to get the final touches on my (and my husband’s) costumes finished, and packing everything we would need for our week plus trip. We arrived at the last rehearsal ready to drop.

I recovered a little during the couple of days between final rehearsal and the event itself. The cold I had been fighting off for weeks threatened to take me out, but I managed to ward it off, using every natural remedy I had on hand.

The event went BEAUTIFULLY! There were only a couple of minor hiccups that were barely noticeable. Many said the event was one of the best yet. My Circle mates made me proud with how much they helped with the clean up on the final day.

And then, I crashed. I was pushing through, because there was more to be done, when Bella came and took my hand, and told me to come with her. She made me rest, and took care of me, and so many people loved on me. It was absolutely, positively, exactly what I needed. I cried and cried and cried from the release. There wasn’t anything wrong, there just wasn’t anything LEFT.

Once home, I slept, and had a massage, and went to the chiropractor, and slept. I ended up taking an extra half day off work and slept. On the weekend (I had a weekend!) I slept until noon, or almost noon. I allowed myself to NOT get into any of the projects I’ve been putting off until after Mysteries. I read a book that had nothing to do with Greek mythology, or self help, or school (it was an autobiographic look at one woman’s family and their experiences with residential school in BC).

I’m back to work now, and teaching, and so many other things. The Goddesses are with me, behind the veil, though I can feel them and connect when I want. I can feel that my energy reserves are still low. I’m working to rebuild. We’ll see how long I can keep still the pace slow slower than it was.

Blessings,

Mary