It comes in many forms, and has many faces. And all of them suck.
My typical pattern looks something like this:
I get exhausted. I feel to tired to do any of the things, so I start to withdraw. I play games on my phone and watch Netflix, because I have no energy or motivation for anything else.
Then I feel guilty for not doing all the things that I ought to be doing instead of wasting my time on electronics. (And before you say it, yes, I know to be gentle with myself, and do what I need to do to heal. That’s part of how my mind messes with me.)
Before I know it, I feel horrible. And then I realize, oh wait, this is what depression looks like for me.
Thankfully, the depression I experience is mild, from what I can tell from friends of mine who have also experienced depression. Once I realize what’s going on, I generally start improving pretty quickly.
For example, I had a slide start about two weeks ago. I hit the bottom on Saturday. I didn’t want to do anything, but I had a lot planned for the weekend. I wanted to stay in bed and cry. But obligations.
So I got myself up, and showered, and made my way out into my day. And cried a little. And put on my game face. And celebrated love in all its diversity at the Campbell River Pride Festival, and hung out with an awesome friend all day. She put rainbow tinsel in my hair, and rainbow feathers, and I put on some make up, and I slowly started feeling better.
The encouragement of friends on Facebook helped, and so did some good supplements. And, of course, my amazing husband.
I’ve come through it. Again. For now. And all I can say is, depression sucks. I know I have it easier than many, many others. My heart goes out to all who experience depression. I hope you can find the tricks and tools that help you weather the storms, and that the dark times be brief and far between.