I *really* don’t like conflict. I’m a peace-maker at heart. My first tactic in most conflict situations is to avoid it and hope it goes away.
I’ll be the first one to admit this isn’t always the best tactic. There are times when you have to pick your battles. Unfortunately for me, I choose to run away for another day more often than is healthy for me.
Even though my first approach is avoidance, I know that eventually I will have to face whatever the situation is. Sometimes I come to this place of acceptance sooner than other times.
You see, avoidance leads to a lot of anxiety. Every time I have to interact with that person, I worry about it, or try to hide that I’m upset. And that just sucks.
Or I avoid seeing the person because I don’t want to deal with the conflict. Which is also weird and awkward in a lot of cases.
And sometimes, avoiding conflict also leads to me avoiding, oh, everything.
I’ve had a lot of conflict in my life recently. It’s an energy drain, a leak. Which is why I’ve been working to clean up as much of the conflict as I can. Because I really don’t like being in conflict with others. Remember how I said I’m a peace-maker at heart?
Anyway, that’s why I haven’t written in a couple of weeks. Avoiding conflict takes a lot of energy, and cleaning it up takes a lot, too. And yet, I feel like it’s extremely important to do it.
Do you have anything left unsaid that is draining your energy?