One of the values I hold pretty highly is integrity. The Oxford English Dictionary defines integrity as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles”. To me, part of integrity is doing what you say you are going to do, in other words, keeping your commitments.
When someone in my life drops the ball and does not do what they say they are going to do, it drives me crazy. The quickest way to upset me is to tell me you are going to do something and then not do it. I’m not talking about little things like taking out the garbage or making the bed (although if that became a pattern, then we might have to have words). I’m talking about big commitments like community projects, work assignments, or roles where other people are depending on me and you.
It seems to run in cycles. All is well, and then I’ll encounter several instances in a row. Of course, whenever something irritates me about someone else, it is never about the other person. It is always about me.
Time for some self reflection and examination.
Are there commitments I have made that I am not following through on? I tend to take on a lot of commitments, so this isn’t out of the question. While there are a few things that I have not completed, I have made sure to either de-commit or update the other person or people involved on the progress. I can’t really think of anything that I have left undone. So if that’s it, I’ve completely forgotten. (Please let me know if I’ve made a commitment to you that I haven’t completed!)
I’m pretty hard on myself when I don’t complete something. That’s part of why I don’t like to back out of anything. However, I would rather formally de-commit myself than just not do it. My word is law in the Universe. If I can’t keep my commitments to myself and others, why would the Universe support me to keep my goals and life purpose?
So if it’s not about commitments that I have not kept, what is this lesson about for me?
Thinking about the most recent occurrences, I think my responsibility lies in not being clear about the expectations related to the commitment. It is really difficult for the other person to complete a project if they don’t understand all of the pieces involved. OK, so I need to work on clear communication, perhaps putting agreements in writing.
And sometimes, it just means that the other person is not someone I can rely on.
Thank you, Universe, for the opportunity to learn and grow.