Thank you!

Thank you to everyone who commented on last week’s blog post! I appreciate hearing from you and receiving your feedback. It’s nice to not feel alone. Mwah! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Thank you roseAlso, thank you to everyone who has sent prayers and healing to my cousin, Dawn. She has had two surgeries this week, and is still in intensive care. Further prayers and healing are much appreciated!

On a more personal note, I’m feeling quite down right now. This is the second time I’m typing this blog post. Despite having autosaved several drafts, my computer crashed and nothing was there when I restarted. You have failed me, Internet!

In spite of being off work, I don’t feel like I’ve really had any time to rest yet. I’ve had several tarot parties, a wedding, a Reiki attunement and volunteering at MusicFest (which I didn’t get to see any of because of the other commitments, and wanting my own space).

I’ve also had several dramas unfold around me. The first drama revolved around me trying to help out a stranger.

I received a call last week from a woman who was looking for a place to camp with her three large dogs while she looked for a new place to live. Because of the fire ban, all of the forestry camping (free) is closed, so she was looking for a property to stay on while she looked for somewhere else, possibly for up to a month. She assured me she was self-sufficient. I’m pretty trusting, so I offered my yard as a place to land for a couple of days to begin her search.

I was out when she arrived on Saturday. My wonderful husband was here when she arrived, and invited herself, and her three dogs, into our home (which is pretty small for the five of us already living here, and we’re family). And asked to store meat in our freezer. And our neighbor’s freezer. And took a long shower. And informed him that she only had one set of clothes (who picks up their life to move somewhere new with no clothes?). And showed no signs of pitching a tent. And asked way too many personal questions of our children.

When I arrived, I asked if she needed help setting up her tent. I was informed that she didn’t get her tent until Tuesday (?!?) and that she was planning to use the next couple of weeks here to find another place to go (!!!). Having already been prepped to her earlier behavior by my ever-patient hubby, I told her that she would have to find a new place by noon on Monday, because we were going to visit family and had a friend coming to house-sit for us, as well as having our septic worked on. I also started setting up a tent for her because I needed my home to myself.

She proceeded to try to sway my emotions by saying that she would have to go back, and how expensive and exhausting it was to come here, and how she had thought it was a bad idea to come, but the psychics had told her it would all be good. My boundaries were up, though, and I wasn’t falling for it. I put up the tent. She then asked for a sleeping bag or blankets and an air mattress.

Thankfully, she left Sunday morning, but only after taking another long shower and using up most of our hot water. I had to ask her to please save some hot water for the rest of us. And I’m glad we have someone looking after the house while we’re away!

LESSON: Be clear about my boundaries BEFORE inviting someone to my home yard.

The second drama has been going on mostly in my head, which is almost worse.

I’ve done several tarot parties this week, and most of the response has been positive. However, there have been a couple of comments that have thrown me off. Basically, at the end of the reading, they say, “That’s it? When I had it done before… (or when I read cards…)”. The Fraud Police come in sirens blaring. And I start questioning myself – I’m not psychic. I’m not good enough. Who do I think I am reading cards for other people? It doesn’t matter that I’ve done hundreds of readings now that people have appreciated or found helpful. Nope. One criticism (or in this case, three in one week), and I’m a fraud.

So now begins the process of rebuilding my shattered self-confidence. I’m snuggling my boys, and chatting and laughing with friends. It’s amazing how much a good laugh will raise your mood! I’ll be visiting one of my mentors tomorrow. And I’ll be with my family very soon. Writing about it helps, too.



6 Responses

  1. I find you amazing, Mary. I don’t even know how you do half the things you do. I’ve got a schedule maybe a tenth the size of yours and I’m so tired I can barely stand up straight.

    Something I found useful for myself with regards to readings and the feelings of being a fraud when people questioned me is to remind both me and the querent that the reading is just a snapshot, and that things can change in an instant. So if their last reading was yesterday and it said something different, then things might have changed. It’s like taking a selfie every day and expecting it to look exactly the same — uh, nope, you’re going to look different each day, even if you don’t try. Circumstances change.

    I also remind them that asking the same question too often can annoy the cards, and the cards will then give you BS answers just to get you to eff off. And that different readers and decks will, obviously, give different answers and that doesn’t mean that any one of them is *wrong*. It’s nebulous and open to interp.

    I find it helps not only keep the feelings of being a fraud away from myself, but also tends to put people in their place when they’re being rude about your reading.

    Also that stuff about the lady invading your space like that is super creepy! What on earth is wrong with people? So glad you have someone staying at your home while you’re away.

    *hugs* Hope you’re feeling better soon.

    Morag recently posted..The Morrigan Chose Me…and I chose Her right back

  2. Dear Mary ….don’t let the naysayers get you down! You are a lovely lady with great abilities! You are someone I’d like to meet, actually. (I’m just up in Port McNeill) You seem to be so attuned to the inner spirit! There are always those who expect a reading to “tie everything up” and to give complete solutions (along with detailed instructions!) to their problems. I used to do tarot (and need to pick it up again!) and found some clients were like that. So, hang in there! <3

  3. I totally agree with Bhearni and Morag – don’t let the negative people get to you.

    I’ve noticed lately, with myself and everyone around me, that the Universe is doing a lot of pushing back lately. It’s testing us to see if whatever new thing we’re doing is truly what we want. And it’s not being subtle about it.

    In my case, just last week I recommitted myself to my writing. I’m finally – FINALLY! – approaching it with the dedication it deserves. And what did the Universe do every day last week? It tested me. In every way imaginable, it nudged and pushed and prodded. Until finally I said, “Yes, THIS is what I want.” Since then, it’s left me alone AND any blocks that were still holding me back have faded away.

    I think hearing three negative people in the same week is the Universe asking if you really want to read tarot. Based on everything you’ve shared, it sounds like you do, so plant your feet and tell the Universe, “Yes, I want to do this.” I hope you’ll be rewarded as I have. 🙂

    You are so kind to help that woman. It’s a shame she tried to abuse that kindness. I’m glad you were able to stand firm with your boundaries and that a friend is housesitting for you.


  4. Thank you all so much.

    Morag – it’s nice to receive feedback that I’m on the right track, or at least a track that others have found helpful. I did remind her of what I had said at the beginning of the reading, that tarot is a snapshot of where you are right now and a possible future. I said if she wanted more information, she can ask more questions.

    Bhearni – I have an invitation to Port Hardy this fall. If I make it up that way, I will definitely let you know! I would love to meet you as well. Maybe we can schedule a tarot party? 😉

    And Karen – thank you for sharing your experience. I’ve definitely been challenged lately to examine what I really want. I hope that being away from my regular environment will help me get some clarity without all the distractions of home (there will just be other distractions!).

    And yes, I also am very glad we have people looking after our house!

  5. Sigh! So sorry you had this string of negative experiences! Snuggle, chat and home your way back to your place of strength, and know that there are so many of us who value your sharing and the lessons you help us learn by extension.

    Bright Blessings and many hugs!

  6. Thank you, Michele!