This weekend was a little discouraging for me. Small things are stacking up – the van needs an oil change, my son needed money for an outing, I had several trips out for meetings this past week that increased my gas usage, and there’s no new episode of Outlander this week. I was pretty confident going into the weekend that things would be ok, because I was reading tarot at a Spirit Fair on Saturday and at the Farmers Market on Sunday.
The Spirit Fair went fairly well. I was concerned at first because there weren’t many people. Then I forced myself to let that thought go, because even if I didn’t make much money, I made some fantastic connections with the other healers and readers in the room. And it turned out that I did make a little money after all!
Sunday, I woke up feeling yucky. I debated cancelling going to the Farmers Market, however, the van’s oil change was weighing on me. I pushed through, and once again spent some time releasing the yucky feeling and getting back to a happy place. I was feeling pretty cheerful by the time people started arriving.
It turned out not to be a very profitable day at the Market. I had lots of fantastic conversations, and again, made some good connections for possible tarot parties and coaching clients in the future. There just weren’t a lot of actual readings today.
After the Market, my husband and I went for a walk on the beach. The tide was out, and it felt delicious walking through the waves. Except for the pain. My body hurt. A lot. Because I didn’t listen in the morning and pushed myself, I paid for it.
Then the negative self-talk started. Why did I bother going to the Market today? I should have just cancelled. I didn’t do as well as other readers yesterday. I’m not as good as they are. (It’s really hard just writing this.) Why does my husband want to be with me? I’m in pain so much. Why am I pushing myself so hard? I really should just give up.
Those of you who have ever experienced chronic pain or depression know what I’m talking about.
So, how did I stop it?
I answered some of the questions – I went to the Market today because I needed to be there for the people I DID talk to and read for. I can’t compare myself to the other readers because we all have our own styles and our own audiences who need to hear the messages from us. My husband loves me, and why am I questioning that?!?! I keep going because I receive joy and fulfillment from most of the things I do, and I care about my family.
I looked at the sun and the beautiful place that I live and found things to be grateful for.
I kept walking. Even though I hurt, and even though my amazingly wonderful husband offered to walk ahead and get the van to come get me, I kept walking. Exercise helps when you get into a funk.
When I got home, I snuggled my boys. Because hugging helps elevate your mood!
Then, I took a nap. Not for long, and I don’t think I really slept. However, taking a rest and letting my mind and body just BE helped tremendously to restore my spirits, and helped to alleviate some of the pain.
And now, I’m writing about it. I’m getting it out of my head so the thoughts don’t keep spinning around and around making me feel worse. Getting it out helps me to let it go.
I realize these tips won’t necessarily help for the major soul-sucking mind-frick. And I hope it will help you stop it before it gets that far.
Blessings,
Mary
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