I’ve been doing a lot of mending lately, both literally and metaphorically.
A few weeks ago, I changed my morning routine so that I am getting up even earlier than I was previously, so that I can do yoga three days a week. I needed to add more physical activity back into my routine. At the end of the DVD routine I use, there is a section of relaxation and guided meditation. One of the lines that has always stood out for me is “mending all torn threads…” I imagine a golden light flowing through my body and fusing all the sore muscles back together, healing all the pain. That line has been strongly on my mind the past few days.
Yesterday, I did actual mending, sewing up all the torn clothing on my mending pile, making things new and useable again.
I’ve also been supporting the people around me mend their lives. I’ve mentioned that a lot of my friends have been ill recently. One of my friends had surgery a few weeks ago to mend a hernia, and another one had surgery last week to mend tears in her heart.
Last night I spent several hours in the emergency room with another friend who has been in a lot of pain for about three weeks, helping to advocate for her to get the help she needs so that she can mend.
The other thing I’ve been helping to mend is communication, between friends and also a bit with my husband. Hurt feelings can be more difficult to mend than hurt bodies. Once trust is broken, it takes more than a needle and thread, more than an apology to fix the damage. It takes time, and honesty and open dialogue.
The problem is, when you are hurting, it can be really hard to communicate openly, because the pain makes it so you don’t want to listen to what the other person has to say. And listening is a key part of communication.
To truly listen, you have to put aside ideas of right and wrong. You have to quiet the voices in your mind that keep telling you how horrible the other person is, or what an awful thing it was that they did to you. (Meditation is great for that.) You have to give up being the victim, the one that had no control over what was happening to you. You have to stop planning the conversation in your head and stop formulating your response while the other person is speaking.
It takes being grounded and fully present to what is going on in this moment now. And opening your (wounded) heart to hear what is or was going on for the other person. Because chances are, they are hurting just as much as you are.
Here’s to mending- both physical and emotional.
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PS. If you would like some help healing your broken heart or broken communication, I’d be happy to help. Contact me about life coaching.