Some days, I just feel like hibernating.
It’s been a long few weeks. I’m back to work full time now, and I’ve been on a big learning curve at work as we install a new system. I’m still going to school at the Wiccan Seminary. I jumped in to help coordinate Vancouver Island Pagan Pride Day, which happened this weekend. And I’ve been called on a lot to provide support to the people in my community recently.
I’ve been working on my physical health this past week as well – I’ve been getting up to do yoga a few days a week, and riding bike with my youngest son. )It’s been a really long time since I rode a bike. I forgot how uncomfortable the seat can be!) To make sure I am getting enough sleep while getting up early to do yoga, I’ve been working on getting myself to bed early as well.
As much as some of my friends like to joke about me being Wonder Woman, I’m not. This is really challenging for me to admit some days. I really, REALLY want to do ALL THE THINGS!
I want to read, I want to learn, I want to be physically fit, I want to spend time with my children, I want to help the people I love and care about, I want to be entertained, I want to write, I want to teach, I want to listen, I want to share, I want to perform, I want to serve my community, I want to spend time with friends, I want to spend time alone.
And I still need to eat, and sleep and work and take care of myself and my family. Yet I almost feel guilty if I take a day to do nothing other than rest and regather my energy for the coming week.
I encourage others to be gentle with themselves, yet I push myself to do more all the time. I am very quick to help others, and I don’t often ask for help myself. Thankfully I have a very supportive husband.
Just as I have set a schedule for sleep and exercise, I am setting a schedule that Sundays are my relax days. If I get homework done, wonderful! If not, that’s ok too. I am making a practice of being gentle with myself, and learning (once again) how to say no.
I’m a work in progress, just like everyone. I have to push my boundaries to understand where they are and where they need reinforcing. And I’d rather push too far once in a while than never push them at all.
Do you know where your limitations are? Do you push your boundaries, or stay safely within them? Please leave your comments below.
Blessings,
Mary
PS. The picture in this post appeared in my Facebook news feed moments after I finished writing. The quote attached to it said:
The current energy is triggering insomnia, irritability, fatigue, and feelings of guilt. The ego energy of fear is trying to maintain control — don’t fall into its trap!
Listen to your feelings, but don’t impulsively act upon them. Detach from all forms of drama, don’t take anything personally, and practice all of your spirituality tools to keep yourself centered and peaceful.
~Doreen Virtue
Very timely indeed. Message received, Universe! Message received.
Physical limitations on what I can do in my daily activities has certainly put a “cap” on just how much I can get done in a day. I have had to stop, cry, get angry, think, lick my wounded pride, and then get to a point where I have to admit I must go very easy on myself for not being able to do all the things I want to do. Every day presents a new challenge and I must accept that despite doing my very best to push myself to do as much as I can that I must remember not to push myself too hard lest I suffer more pain. I’ve had to learn to pace myself, like a cadence, but learn to go with the tides of my disability. Some days I can accomplish more and some I can’t do much at all. But each day I must get up and do the very best I can! And love myself no matter the production level or lack of.
Thanks for your confession of a driven woman. I look back at myself and remember that I was like that once and still do have that within myself. But also recognize that I am in a period of rest and healing. Others will have to help me fight the battles for now. Then I hope I will rise from all this like a phoenix!
Many Blessings Mary!