Grief

My grandmother is dying.

Her health has been going downhill for the last two years, but my family is on death watch now.

This feels like deja vu.

Two years ago, my parents came out to spend some time with my children while my husband and I went away for a spiritual retreat over Easter.  My mom’s mother was dying at that time, and my dad’s mother had heart surgery and was in the hospital.  Within a week after my parents got back home, my mom’s mother passed away.

Three weeks ago, my parents came to spend some time with my children while my husband and I were away at separate business conferences, and then away again for a spiritual retreat over Easter.  They have been home for just over a week, and we don’t expect my dad’s mom to last through this week.

I’m still in the early stages of grief.  It’s painful to think of losing my last grandparent, the fun grandma.  My dad is an only child, so my sister and I were her only grandchildren, and we got spoiled by her.  While I was growing up, she and my grandfather lived in a house on a lake, and we spent many weekends there…swimming in summer and sledding in the winter; playing card games in the dining room overlooking the lake; enjoying the fire in the fireplace.

After I got married and moved away, she would come and spend a week with us to see her great grandchildren every year, until she was no longer able to travel with ease.  Every week she wrote me letters, and later emails about how her week went and what things she did.

Logic tells me she is just graduating this plane of existence.  She will get to be with my grandfather again (he died 25 years ago).  She won’t be suffering anymore.  She’s lived a full and good life.

And I will miss her very much.

I love you, Iris Swenson.  And I am so grateful that you have been such an important part of my life.

3 thoughts on “Grief”

  1. Hugs, Mary. I know how much your grandma Swenson means to you. Our thoughts are with you and your family…
    -Whit and Ed

  2. Thank you so much, Whitney. She passed away this afternoon, so I will be heading home to be with my family this weekend.

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