Many teachers and gurus talk about the importance of taking responsibility for everything in our lives. On one level, I totally get it. Everything, good and bad that has happened to me, all of my current circumstances are a result of choices I have made. I understand, and I accept it.
At another level, I struggle with this lesson. Over and over again.
Here’s how that plays out in my life.
I get a great idea, or an opportunity comes my way. I get excited about the project, and make plans for how I will accomplish it. I get started, and then it hits me…I have three young children.
I become overwhelmed by my perceived time pressure. Between work, spending time with my children and my husband, my journal writing, meditation and spiritual practices, home chores and the new responsibility of whatever the project of the moment is, I start to feel burned out.
I want to be Super Woman, and do it all! The fact remains that I am a mortal woman who gets cranky when I don’t get enough sleep. Not to mention self care!
At times, I have arranged for others to care for my children while I pursue my vision/idea/opportunity. I end up missing them, they miss me, and they start acting out to get my attention. And, I didn’t have children so I could pass them off to someone else to raise. While my children have never been this out of control…
…there are times when my house gets a little out of control! Like now for instance. One is in the bath, and two are chasing each other in circles around the house. And I’m working on this blog post. This would be one of those Calgon moments, right?
There are so many things I want to go out and do. So many things I want to accomplish. And so much of my children’s lives I would miss were I to take off and pursue all those things.
I sometimes console myself with the fact that I am still pretty young, and I will have plenty of time to pursue those dreams as the boys grow older. They are only young once, right? Or, if I miss one opportunity now, another bigger and better opportunity awaits me. And still I struggle with wanting to do it all. NOW! The fact remains that I chose to become a mother, and for all my complaining, I really enjoy growing with my children.
Since this theme keeps recurring in my life, it’s obviously one of those life lessons that is going to keep coming up until I truly figure it out. Or until they all grow up and move out of the house. Nahhh, who am I kidding? I will still want to do more things than I have time to do! 🙂
So, how about you? How do you balance all your responsibilities? Do you fully accept responsibility for all aspects of your life?