Daily Archives: January 18, 2010

Control Issues

Hello.  My name is Mary, and I have control issues.

Not the stereotypical”EVERYTHING MUST GO MY WAY!” kind of control issues. There are some things I just don’t care about. Like the nightly dinner time conversation:

“What do you want to have for dinner?”

“I don’t know.  What do you want to have?”

But I’ve never been completely drunk, because as soon as I start feeling tipsy, and like I’m losing control, I stop. (That, and I don’t really like the taste of alcohol…) I just want to have control over my life.  I didn’t think that was asking much, really!

Apparently, the need for control leads to a lot of struggle.  And a fair bit of disappointment.  I speak from experience.  Take my guided meditations for example.  I had the idea that over my holiday break from work, I was going to get pages written for every one that I had completed recording.  There are nine of them.  It is now more than two weeks past my time off, and there are three pages up.

Why is that? Because life had different plans for me–time spent with my children, helping a really good friend, another project with a high priority to finish (meaning I was getting paid for it). And I caused myself pain by feeling guilty about not getting my website done. I still cause myself some pain about it.

But I’m getting some pretty clear messages from the Universe that it is time for me to let go of that need to control.  I need to go with the flow, and follow where I am led.  Besides getting that message during meditation, the other day the daily message on my Marianne Williamson Daily Wisdom Calendar said:

“Until your knees finally hit the floor, you’re just playing at life, and on some level you’re scared because you know you’re just playing.  The moment of surrender is not when life is over.  It’s when it begins.”

I’ve also been drawing a Crystal Ally Card each night before bed.  Three nights ago, I drew Aquamarine -Release.  The description said,

“Give away the energy of control, and have faith that the Universe will use that energy to create what is in your highest good. Allow the light of Spirit to enter and fill your body and mind.”

And then today, as I sat down to write this post, another friend needed some healing.  So two hours later, I’m now back at it, and mulitasking.

So I’m working to let go of control, and go with the flow. How am I doing that?

  1. Breathe and get centered.
  2. Tune in to my intuition, Divine Wisdom, Higher Self.  This feels like an opening of my heart.
  3. Ask for input.  “What do I do next?”
  4. Listen for the answer.
  5. Act on the message I receive.

Yes, sometimes this is a lot easier said than done.  And sometimes I completely forget to do it. Like I said, I’m working on this one. The Peaceful Woman Maui Passage has a whole day devoted to this lesson. I’m very much looking forward to that when I go back in February. And my youngest son is an awesome teacher!



PS. I just read my “Notes from the Universe” for today, and got a good chuckle!

Expecting “end results” – such as wealth and abundance, health and harmony, friends and laughter – in broad brush strokes, is part of the secret formula, Mary, for manifesting the life of your dreams.

Expecting your path to follow a certain route – such as writing a bestseller to accumulate wealth, having a particular someone fall in love with you, or insisting upon this idea, that diet, or the other invention to be your deliverance – is just plain messing with the cursed hows and severely limits my options… (I hate when that happens.)

The Universe

PS. Release any expectations you may have of how you think your dreams will come true, Mary, but by all means, with every fiber of your being, expect that they will, as you busy yourself enjoying who and where you already are.